Memory
by endegame
Summary: Sequel to Broken Love. The bond between Mother and child can never be broken. Never. This is the story of one mother, determined to see her daughter, even when her mortal enemy is the father of her child. R&R PLEASE!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Sugarcult**

Picking up the pieces of a life you've broken  
Stitching it together with the seams wide open  
You keep crying, crying, crying  
Till you cannot see at all  
You keep crying, crying, crying  
Till you cannot breathe at all  
What do you do when you're alone?  
What do you do when no one's home?  
What do you do when you're alone?  
Out of control, now on your own

**-Crying by Sugarcult**

**A/N: **Here it is! The sequel to Broken Love. Memory is the life of Jacob and Alice after Bella left them to become a vampire so she could stay with the Cullens. Please read Broken Love if you really want to understand Memory…Thanks for reading!!


	2. Moving

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Oh my Gosh! The prologue for "Memory" already got 3 reviews and its only song lyrics! Oh my gosh! Thanks soo much, everyone! All flashbacks will be **_italicized. _

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

"Bella! Edward! Emmett! Rosalie! Jasper! Alice!" Carlisle called out.

"Damn,"Edward growled. "Can we ignore him, please Bella?" Edward pleaded.

I smiled and pushed him off me. I got up and pulled my shirt down, and buttoned my half undone jeans.

"No, Edward. Carlisle needs to talk to us," I replied to him curtly.

Edward brushed his hand against my face and kissed me passionately. He pushed me down against the new bed he just ordered one month ago, and started to work his hands up under my shirt. I shivered and quickly pushed him off me again.

"No, not now Edward. We haven an eternity to spend together. We have plenty of time," I said as I touched Edward's cheek.

He sighed, but took my hand. We flew down the stairs and into the living room to find Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, and Esme all arranged on the couches. Emmett met Edward's eyes and smirked. Edward grinned back and I just scowled. Edward dragged me over to my favorite cream colored couch and sat down. I was going to sit right next to him, but he pulled onto his lap instead.

Carlisle cleared his throat, and looked around the room.

"Well, Edward probably knows why we're all sitting here. So, let me tell you. We've got to leave. I'm claiming 35, and everyone in the hospital thinks that I got plastic surgery," Carlisle grinned. "So, I think it's time to move."

"Thank God!" Emmett exclaimed. "I can't wait to get out of here! Mrs. Berkley is annoying the hell out of me. She won't let me break pencils anymore!"

Everyone burst into laughter and Edward's finger trailed up and down my back, making me shiver again. I jumped off Edward's lap.

"Oh! And don't forget Ms. Goodman!" I exclaimed. I concentrated on Goodman's face and felt my facial features rearrange themselves. "'Look at me! I'm an old man who had a gender change!'" I mocked.

Everyone laughed again, and I rearranged my features to their original look. I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw Rosalie's jealous eyes flash. She didn't like the fact that I could change my features. When I found out that I could change my appearance, Edward and I were shocked. It happened about a year after I had to leave my first family…

_Edward was washing the cars with Emmett and Jasper. Alice and I were trying on outfits. Mostly it was just Alice who tried the clothes on and I just watched. Alice skipped out of the room so she could get the new jeans she bought me. I sighed and looked at the mirror. I saw my reflection and sighed again. Even though I was a vampire, I wasn't as beautiful as Esme or Alice. I certainly wasn't as beautiful as Rosalie. I wished I looked like her, with the same perfect features and same flowing hair._

_Edward came bursting into the room then. I turned and smiled. I ran to him and put my arms around him. To my surprise, he pushed me away._

_"Rosalie!?" He hissed and his face horrified. "What the hell are you doing??" _

_"What? Rosalie? I'm not Rosalie! I'm Bella!" I protested._

_"Then why do you look just like her?!"_

_"What are you talking about?!"_

_I turned to look at myself in the mirror and I gasped. I looked like Rosalie! Quickly, I wished that I returned to my former features. My face morphed in front of my eyes, twisting grotesquely before my face returned to normal. Edward walked to my side and kissed my neck._

_"You are Bella! And you can change your features…We should tell the rest of the family."_

_Alice came bounding into the room then, a huge smile on her angel's face. Edward opened his mouth._

_"Yes, I know about Bella's power…So don't tell me!" She trilled._

_We laughed._

"Well," Carlisle said, breaking me out of my reverie. "Let's find out who picks where we should go."

Carlisle quickly wrote everyone's names on tiny slips of paper and threw them into an empty vase. He shook the vase around and reached into it while everyone watched him with tense eyes. Carlisle drew his hand out of the vase and read the slip of paper silently before announcing it. Edward probably knew who it was, but he didn't say anything. More than anything, I wished the paper had my name on it. I knew exactly where I wanted to go. I had formed this plan ages ago, but I was afraid to mention it to anyone, afraid that they would object. If that tiny slip of paper had my name on it, my plan was ready to go. Carlisle opened his mouth, and I listened, waiting to hear the name.

"Bella," Carlisle whispered. He looked up at me and a lock of his hair fell into his eyes. Esme brushed it away like a mother would.

I was too shocked to form an answer. After seventeen years, I was finally able to pick the place where we were going to move.

"Bella? Where do you want to move to?" Carlisle asked softly.

I looked at him, then at Edward. I took a deep breath.

"Ithaca."

**A/N: Yayy! I finished Chapter one! Awesome! You guys gotta review it! It took me forever to finish this chapter…I had a sever case of writers block, but thanks to ♥Sugarcult♥ and Walking Ashland, I managed to finish it. I love you guys!**

**Melissa**


	3. Hating

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**Chapter 2**

**Human Alice POV**

"Alice!" My dad, Jacob, shouted from downstairs. "Get out of bed!"

I groaned in response and put the pillow over my head. I was so tired and I don't think I slept my drunkenness off. Damn, the party I went to last night was so wild!

"Alice Esme-Rosalie Black! Get out of bed right now!" Jacob shouted again. "Do we have to go through this all the time?"

"Fine! I'll get out of the friggin bed!" I climbed out of bed and stubbed my toe on my heels. "Shit!" I cursed.

"Don't you dare say that ever again!" Jacob shouted again.

I shook my head; Jacob seemed to hear everything. I stumbled out to the bathroom and washed my face. I looked in the mirror. I looked like hell. I could be very pretty, but now I looked like a druggie. My face was pale, and the dark circles under my eyes looked scary. I reached up to push my brown hair out of my face and I saw my scars in the mirror. I looked at the thin lines that crisscrossed over my wrist. Each scar had a story. I smiled a little when I saw the most faded line. It was my first scar.

_It was my first day in high school. I had my hair done in a pretty ponytail with a pink ribbon around it. I was wearing my favorite white top and pink pants. All in all, I thought I looked pretty. Maybe if I went to high school, there would be more people who would want to talk to me. I never had any friends…People didn't like to talk to me much. I was too weird._

_Nothing happened. No one talked to me. No one even looked at me. I was so frustrated. I didn't want to live the rest of my life as a cat lady. I grew depressed and stopped wearing bright colors. Darker clothes dominated my wardrobe to match my dark mood. Everyday when I went to school, I noticed a guy named Jonas. He was so cute, with his black hair and green eyes. I had been thinking about asking him out or something. Finally, I took a breath and walked up to him._

_"Umm…Jonas? Do you want to see a movie or something?" I asked, my voice sounding incredibly small._

_He laughed. "You're kidding, right? Why the hell would I go somewhere with you? I'd rather date Becky!" Jonas retorted, naming the geekiest girl in school._

_I ran away, tears streaming down my face. During lunch, I hardly ate my food. And if I did take a bite out of it, it would taste salty because of my tears. I was so immersed in my situation, that I didn't notice several people settle themselves around me._

_"Hello," A quiet voice said._

_I looked up startled._

_"We've been watching you," The voice said again._

_Now that I was really looking, I saw that the person who had talked to me was a guy. His hair was black and his eyes were brown. His skin was paler than mine, and that was something. I was really pale._

_"Would you like to join us?" He asked again. "My name is Gerard."_

_I nodded at Gerard slowly. He got up and I followed him, my eyes wide. I followed him out of the cafeteria and into the little forest that surrounded the high school. Gerard handed me a knife._

_"Put the blade near your wrist, but not too close to the vein. We wouldn't you to die," Gerard chuckled darkly._

_I nodded and put the blade near my wrist, the other people imitated me. Gerard put the blade on his wrist and pressed. The blood began to ooze out and he smiled. I looked up and saw everyone doing the same. I closed my eyes and pressed. I felt a little sting, and then, euphoria. It was as if all my pains and sorrows went away._

_That was the turning point._

I quickly shook my head and started to brush my teeth. Gerard told us to never think about the past, worry about the future. I finished brushing my teeth and walked out to my room to get dressed. I picked out a black sweater and jeans, making sure that the sweater covered my wrists properly. Jacob wouldn't like it too much if he saw my scars. I was closing my drawer, when a brown cover caught my eye. I quickly opened it and saw that it was the album I stole from Jacob when I was in 6th grade. I flipped it open and the first thing I saw was my parents' wedding picture.

Jacob seemed extremely happy; he was smiling so big I wondered if his cheeks hurt. I looked at the woman he had his arm around. She was pretty…and she looked just like me. She had the same hair, eyes, and smile as me. She was smiling, but there was something wrong with her eyes. It was if she wasn't all there. Something was missing.

I flipped to the next page and it was a picture of Jacob kissing my mom. She was standing on her toes and he was bent over at least a foot. I turned the page again and I saw a picture of Jacob and my pregnant mom. Jacob was kneeling, his ear against my mother's huge belly, his eyes closed. My mom had her hands on Jacob's head and she was smiling softly. I flipped over to the last page, and the picture I saw nearly made me sob. No matter how many times I stared at the picture, I always felt sad looking at it.

It was a picture of my mom and dad in the hospital. My mom was lying in the hospital bed; Jacob had his face near hers. My mom was holding me, a pink lump, close to her chest. She was staring down at me, a smile on her lips.

I shut the book. I hated my mom. I hated her with all my heart. Jacob wouldn't tell me if she died or left us, but I knew she must have left us. It would have been easier to cope with if she had died. If she left us, it would hurt even more. If my dad truly loved my mom, he would be miserable if she died. But my dad did truly love my mom, and he was still heart broken over it. I came to the conclusion that she left us. I threw the book back into my drawers. No matter how hard I tried, I could never bring myself to throw it out.

I stomped down the stairs, and saw Jacob already seated with his breakfast. His plate was filled with bacon, eggs, and toast. No matter how much crap my dad ate, he never gained weight. I glanced at the clock on the wall. I grabbed a granola bar and dashed out the door.

"Bye, Alice!" Dad called after me. "Love ya!"

"Bye," I shouted back.

I walked out onto the sunny street and walked up the block to the spot where I always met Gerard. I sat down on the curb and waited. I didn't have to wait long. About two minutes after I sat down, Gerard pulled up in his car.

"Hey, Alice!" Gerard smiled.

He leaned out of the open window to kiss me on the lips before I got in. I walked around the car and got into the passenger seat. Gerard grinned and pulled me close.

"You're not afraid of me?" He asked sarcastically as he kissed my neck.

I didn't respond, and Gerard trailed his hands up and down my sides. He kissed down my neck and down to my collarbone. His breath came fast against my skin.

"Not now, Gerard," I said impatiently as I slid out of his grasp. "We'll be late for school."

Gerard only shrugged and started the engine. Our car rides were always silent, but the little looks we flashed at each other were full of words and emotions. We reached school in a short time, as Gerard liked to drive fast. We walked out of the car and into the school building. Once we reached the school doors, Gerard kissed me on the lips before dashing off to his first class. I smiled after him and went to my own classes.

My first class was biology. I sat down in my usual seat in the back. I paid attention in class, always taking notes, but never offering anything. The rest of the school day was fairly the same. At lunch, Gerard and I met up in the forest with a bunch of other people. There we did our regular ritual. It was a strange feeling, cutting yourself. You always felt a sharp sting, and then, as you watched the blood flow, all your painful and unhappy memories seemed to flow with it. The sound of blood dripping on the forest floor was calm and reassuring. The constant drops sounded like rain against glass, but it held much more meaning. We were letting our entire misery drop away.

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

**Please Read!!!!**

**I, Melissa, am not emo! I do not cut myself and inflict pain on my body…As you can see, Alice Black is indeed emo, and she has an emo boyfriend, Gerard. Please don't take this the wrong way. I am a very happy child, but this seemed like the only way to make Alice, Alice….Thanks for reading!!**


	4. Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**This may never start  
We could fall apart  
And I'd be your memory  
Lost your sense of fear  
Feelings insincere  
Can I be your memory?**

**So get back, back, back to where we lasted.  
Just like I imagine.  
I could never feel this way.  
So get back, back, back to the disaster.  
My heart's beating faster.  
Holding on to feel the same.**

-Sugarcult (Memory)

**Chapter 3**

**BPOV**

I threw myself onto the bed, and stared unhappily at Edward, who was pacing the room. His expression was confused, shocked, and a little hurt.

"Edward, what are you thinking?" I asked softly.

He was next to me on the bed immediately. He took my hands in his and stared into my face. His topaz eyes were penetrating. I looked away.

"Bella," Edward said as he lifted my face up. "Do you really want to go to Ithaca?"

I gulped and nodded. Edward sighed.

"Are you prepared to visit your past?" Edward asked softly.

I nodded again, and Edward pulled me close to his chest. We stayed like that for a long time. We both jumped when a soft knock came from the hallway.

"Bella, Edward?" Alice's high voice asked.

"Yes, Alice?" I asked.

Alice danced into the room. "Can we go shopping? Please please please? Rosalie won't come with me. Esme won't come either because she and Carlisle are spending time together," Alice said as she winked. "Unless you and Edward were planning on doing something…?"

"No, no. I'll go shopping with you, Alice."

"Can I join in on the fun?" Edward asked a mischievous grin on his face.

Once at the mall, Alice dragged me to various stores and threw endless amounts of clothes at me. Edward just hung back, watching with obvious glee as Alice threw some lingerie at me.

"Alice!" I groaned. "You're not going to make me buy this stuff?!"

Edward laughed quietly. I turned and glared at him. My murderous look stopped his chuckle short. I shoved all the bras and underwear at him.

"You buy it then!" I said quietly.

Edward paled, but nodded. He walked up to the cashier, who happened to be a girl, and set everything on the counter. The girl stared at Edward curiously, and Edward looked away, his face embarrassed. The cashier scanned a bra, and then frowned. She typed something on the computer next to her, and frowned again. I knew what she was going to do. A huge smiled played around my lips as the cashier put her mouth near the microphone. I looked over at Alice and found she was enjoying this as much as I was.

"Georgie! Do you know the price for the size C32 Ipex Bra?" The cashier said in a nasal voice.

Edward's eyes grew huge. Alice doubled over with laughter. I grabbed her stone hand, and ran out of the store with her. We ran at human speed up the escalator and into the food court. We stood there, shaking with laughter. About ten minutes later, we saw Edward walk furiously toward us, a large Victoria's Secret bag in his hand. Many a curious stranger turned to stare at him. He jogged out to where were. He shoved the bags into my hands.

"You owe me," He suggested playfully as he eyed the bags with interest.

"What!? You're going to rape me?!?!" I shrieked.

Alice fell to the floor in laughter. Edward's shocked expression drove me over the edge. I joined Alice on the floor. Edward looked at us, sighed, rolled his eyes, and started to walk off to the parking lot.

The car ride home was hilarious for Alice and me, but annoying for Edward. Alice and I sat in the back seat still laughing our heads off. When we got home, I brought all the clothes upstairs, and dumped then into our closet. Edward tried unsuccessfully to get me into that bra that he had to buy. Edward chased me around the house for ten minutes before Alice and Rosalie helped me bring him down. All in all, it was a fairly nice day.

**Four Months Later**

I was so excited. We were leaving for Ithaca the next day. I had begged Carlisle to not tell Jacob that we were in Ithaca. Carlisle was against it, but he didn't object. My mood was always cheerful and nothing would make me sad. The night before we left, Edward and I went on a hunting trip. We raced each other and tried to hunt the same deer. It was really fun. After about two hours, we collapsed on the soft ground, laughing. I snuggled up into Edward's side, and he put his arm around me.

"I love you," Edward whispered.

"I love you, too" I whispered back.

We lay there for a few moments.

"Bella…"Edward trailed off. His voice wasn't suggestive. It was hesitant and unsure.

"What? Edward, you know that you can ask me anything," I murmured.

"Well…Bella, you know that we're going back to where..."Edward took a deep breathe before continuing. "To where your family is. Well, you do know that your child will probably alert Jacob of your presence…And Jacob won't be too happy about you being here. Bella, please understand that I have no aversion to you seeing your daughter. I'm just worried about an outburst from Jacob. And your daughter might have some werewolf in her…" Edward said in a cool voice. He didn't fool me. I knew how much this hurt him.

"Edward…You know I love you…But there are some things I haven't told you…"

Edward shifted his position so he was staring at my face.

"Tell me," He demanded.

"Well…Jacob told me a lot about werewolves. You know everything but this one fact I'm going to give you. Once a werewolf has a son, that son is destined to become a werewolf if any vampires are around. But, if the son's mother has no Quileute blood in her, the chances of the boy becoming a werewolf are less likely. But if the child is a girl, she will have no werewolf in her, Quileute mother or not."

Edward lay quiet again. I knew he had trouble discussing the daughter I had with Jacob. Esme was sad whenever the subject was discussed. She knew how it felt like to lose your child, but she could never sympathize with me completely. I had gotten to know my child; Esme never knew her son to well. If I could cry, a tear would be running down my face. Edward seemed to sense my distress. He wrapped an arm over me comfortingly over me and kissed my lips. For some strange reason, that kiss brought up painful memories.

_My first kiss with Jacob._

_When Jacob and I first slept together…_

_When I found out that I was pregnant._

_Jacob's face when I told him that I was pregnant._

_When we got married._

_When Alice was born…_

The last memory made me sob, and Edward pulled me closer.

"Shhh…don't cry, baby," He whispered as he kissed my hair.

He pulled me even closer, and we spent the night in each other's arms.


	5. Ghost Kisses

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**A/N: Hey guys!! You guys haven't been reviewing me…pouts…No, seriously, the reviews are the main reason I bother to publish…Yeah, I know, I'm being a total ass…but please please please review me!**

**Chapter 4**

**Alice (human) POV**

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

I startled awake, the covers flying off me in my haste. I stared around the dark room with tense eyes. There was a baseball bat under my bed, I think…

_Tap. Tap. Tap._

My head whipped around to the window. After a moment or two, my eyes grew accustomed to the dim light coming from the moon. I saw a slight figure wobble erratically on the tree in front of my window. The stranger's eyes were glowing in the dark. How strange. I stared idly at the figure on the tree in front of my window wondering if I should let him in. The figure tapped on the window even more. Sighing, I crept out of bed and tiptoed to the window. I was being foolish. I opened the window, and gasped a little when I saw who it was.

"Gerard?!" I hissed, my eyes growing huge.

"Yes, Alice. It's me. Do you know how long I've been hanging on to that cursed tree? Now get out of the way," Gerard demanded.

I quickly moved out of the way. Gerard swung a little bit, and then jumped through the open window and into my room. He lost his balance and went sprawling across the thick carpet.

"Oomph," Gerard grunted.

I giggled and Gerard glared at me as he got up. Then I fully realized the situation.

"You're in my room!?" I gasped in horror.

Gerard grinned as I took it in. Again, I noticed that his eyes were glowing. I walked over to him and touched his brow.

"Your eyes are glowing."

Gerard grinned. "Yeah, that's one of my traits; some people think I'm a vampire."

I snorted. Vampires…

Gerard took my small hand in his, and kissed it. He held it to his face, and breathed in. I ripped my hand from his.

"Are you _smelling_ my hand?!"

Gerard grinned again. "Don't you remember? I'm a vampire!"

I giggled along with him. Then a loud snore made me jump.

"My dad!" I hissed, alarmed. What if Jacob woke up? How could I explain that there was a guy in my bedroom in the middle of the night?

"Don't worry; I won't let your old man find me."

"I hope your right…I'm scared to think what Jacob would do if he found you."

Gerard frowned slightly and eyed me closely. I felt self-conscious under his gaze. I shifted from foot to foot.

"What?"

"You haven't asked me why I'm here," Gerard teased.

I blushed. "Oh yeah….Why _are_ you here?"

Gerard simply grabbed my waist, and pulled me to him. He pressed his soft lips against mine. The kiss started off slow, but gained momentum as the moments passed. He slowly backed me up against the wall, his fingers tracing patterns on my back. My body was filled with wanting more intense than I had ever felt in my entire life. My hands clutched in his hair, and Gerard pulled me even closer, his hands slowly easing up under my shirt. I broke off, gasping. What was I doing? A boy was in my bedroom! That was against the rules! And also, what would Jacob think if I got pregnant?

"What?" Gerard asked, puzzled.

"I-I don't think I'm ready for this," I muttered, embarrassed.

Gerard looked at Alice and sighed. But he didn't pursue the subject.

"Since you don't want to….What do you want to do?" He asked.

I yawned involuntarily. "Can we go to sleep? I'm exhausted…Set your watch to the 5:30 alarm so you can leave."

Gerard smiled and lifted me bridal style and carried me to the bed. He set me down on the bed and lay down next to me. He put his arm around me and slowly kissed my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that I could fall asleep. But Gerard's constant kisses kept me up. Finally around one in the morning, I fell asleep. Somewhere in that sleep, I felt someone detach themselves from my body. And then, it was so light I couldn't be sure if it was real, I was showered with cold kisses. Ghost kisses.


	6. Lunch

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**A/N: Review me please!! Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

The house was abuzz. Rosalie was shrieking because she couldn't find her red dress in her suitcase. Emmett was trying not to laugh at Rosalie's fury. Edward was leaning against the hallway wall, staring into space. Jasper and Alice were feuding about how many clothes would fit in one suitcase and Jasper was unintentionally sending out waves of annoyance and impatience. Esme and Carlisle were all set to go, as I was. Actually, I was the first one ready. I checked my watch, tapping my foot impatiently. Why couldn't Rosalie just grow up? She could buy as many red dresses as she wanted once were in Ithaca. I sighed and Carlisle patted my back comfortingly.

"Don't worry, Bella. We'll make it," Carlisle said.

I only nodded and my tapped my foot faster. I heard Jasper shout in surprise. Alice came bounding into the front room then, he spiky hair in disarray.

"Jasper threw all my clothes out of the suitcase!" She wailed.

Esme raised an eyebrow. "All of them?"

"Well, not _all_ of them! But he did throw out a lot!"

I laughed, and Alice glared at me. She grabbed my hand and dragged me into her room. I nearly collapsed on the floor in laughter. Jasper was standing in the middle of the room looking really confused. And he also had a bunch of lingerie draped all over him.

"Alice!" I shrieked. What did you do to Jazzy??"

Edward came bursting into the room then, a huge smirk on his face. Jasper was picking all the bras and underwear off him. He ripped an ultra sheer nightie from his arm.

"Tsk, tsk, Alice. I didn't know you were such a big fan of Victoria's Secret!" I said, while trying to keep a straight face.

Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, and Esme came running into the room. Emmett had a digital camera in his hands.

"Smile big, Jazzy!" Emmett shouted gleefully as he took snaps of Jasper with underwear on his head.

Jasper growled and ran after Emmett, all the undergarments flying off him. The rest of us leaned against each other laughing our heads off. Edward draped his arm around my shoulders and I hugged him around the waist.

"Our flight is leaving in about two hours and Alice had a vision of empty highway. Perfect," He whispered as he kissed the top of my head. "I call I'm driving!" Edward said a little louder.

I groaned internally. Even though I knew that Edward wouldn't crash the car, (and even if he did, none of use would be harmed) I was still foolishly scared whenever he drove. Edward drove the fastest.

We made it onto the flight with an hour and ten minutes to spare. I sighed and settled myself into Edward's lap and prepared to wait.

"Please fasten your seatbelt and prepare for the takeoff," The captain's voice called over the speakers.

I fastened my seatbelt and sighed. I put my head against Edward's shoulder. He reached up to stroke my hair.

"I love you, Bella," He whispered against my hair.

"I know."

Edward chuckled quietly and snapped the window shut.

"Bella," Edward said suddenly. "What do you plan on doing when you get to the high school?"

"I'll show you when we get to Ithaca."

"Oh."

We stayed like that for a few moments, engulfed in our own thoughts. Suddenly Edward stiffened.

"What's up?" I asked as I lifted my head from his shoulder.

"That man in the aisle is thinking about you in ways only I should be allowed to think about."

"Perv!" I laughed and hit him playfully on the shoulder.

"Let's show him that you can't be with him," Edward said as he took my chin in one hand and tangled the other in my hair.

"Let's."

Edward pulled my face to his and our lips collided. His lips moved against mine and my hands moved greedily to his face. I could tell several minutes had passed, but I had no intention of letting him go. It was only when I heard Emmett's quiet chuckle did I pull back. I was a bit breathless and so was Edward.

"Too bad we can't have fun on the plane…I think we'll break a hole through the plane if we continued our kiss…Nothing would be able to stop you once we get started!" Edward grinned.

Alice walked down the aisle right then, a smirk on her face. She slid into the empty seat next to me.

"On behalf of the rest of the Cullens, we ask that you please refrain from doing anything sexual on the plane," Alice giggled.

My eyes grew wide. "Alice!" I shrieked.

She only grinned and I buried my face in my hands. Alice smirked once more and got up once more to glide back to Jasper.

The plane ride back to Ithaca was boring, but Edward always kept me occupied with kisses. Sometimes when Edward wasn't kissing me, I would reach up and toy with his bronze hair. I wet my hands a little bit and styled Edward's hair into a mohawk. Edward gawked when he saw his reflection. He shook his head until his hair was somewhat normal again.

When we got to the airport in Ithaca, I nearly broke down in tearless sobs. It was all so familiar. Edward wound his arm around my waist, and for once, Emmett was not grinning or joking around. Alice, Jasper, Edward, and I climbed into the new car Edward had rented and sped our way through town. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett followed us in their own car. The car ride was about two hours, and I took in scenery greedily. When we finally reached the house, I gasped out loud. It was beautiful. It looked exactly like the house back in Forks. I ran inside the house, not even bothering to help with the suitcases. I crashed through the doors, wondering if the inside looked the same. I was right. The inside was large and white and stunning. I ran up the stairs, Edward following close behind. I opened all the doors as I ran past, taking in all the breathless beauty. I climbed up the last set of stairs hoping that Edward's room would be in the same place as it was in Forks. I threw the door open and gasped. The room was divine! The walls were pale blue and the carpet was a pure white. I turned around to see Edward staring at me, smiling crookedly.

"Oh, Edward! It's beautiful" I gasped.

"And so are you," He replied as he gathered me in his arms.

The next day was high school. I showed Edward my disguise. I turned my hair jet black and shoulder length. I made my lips just a little bit fuller, and my eyes a tad bigger. Since six of us were going to school, Edward and I had a car to ourselves and everyone else took their own.

High school was the same boring affair. Edward was in all of my classes, so it wasn't that bad. I hadn't seen my daughter in any classes. I hoped that maybe at lunch I would see her. When the lunch bell rang, I jumped up and shoved all my books in my bag.

"Maybe I'll see her at lunch," I whispered hopefully to Edward.

"Don't get your hopes up, Bella," Edward warned.

But Edward's warning had come far too late. I was expecting to see Alice as soon as possible. Edward and I sauntered into the cafeteria, my eyes never resting. I didn't see my baby Alice anywhere. I felt crushed. Edward put his arm around my waist, and kissed me on the cheek.

"It's okay, Bella. It's okay," Edward soothed.

I winced. Jacob had told me those same exact words. Edward's grip on my waist tightened. We walked towards the table where everyone was seated. I put my head down on the table, and Edward rubbed soothing circles into my back. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Edward compared teachers while I just sat there, feeling horrible.

Sixteen years of hurt and planning, just for this. Nothing. I hated myself for even hoping.

I was becoming used to the motions on my back, so when Edward stopped, it was very sudden. I lifted my head off from the table to find my Edward and the rest of my family staring at the entrance to the cafeteria. I followed their gaze, waiting for something. Two figures stepped through the doors then. The first figure was a boy. He had long black hair and brown-almost black- eyes. He was very pale and hard dark shadows under his eyes. At his side was a very pretty girl. She had pale skin, too, but she was not as pale as the boy. She had long, brown hair with bangs that fell into her eyes. The girl's eyes were chocolate brown.

Alice Black.

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**YAH YAH! I know my story is like wayyyy late, but I had like some serious writer's block. I'm feeling kinda sick, so don't be surprised if I don't get chapter 6 up sooner.** **AND PLEASE PRESS THAT PRETTY PURPLE BUTTON TO THE BOTTOM LEFT AND PLEASE REVIEW ME!!**

**Melissa**


	7. Friends?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Heyy you guys! Thanks for reviewing…but I'm wondering…Should I say that I'll only put Chapter 7 up after I get a certain amount of reviews? But anyways, thanks for reading & reviewing me!**

**Chapter 6**

**Alice (human) POV**

I sighed and pushed the bangs out of my eyes. I tried to pay attention to the teacher, but I was so tired. I couldn't sleep at all last night because Gerard insisted that we go on the AIM. I tried to sleep, but the computer was in my room, and Gerard was typing away madly. I only managed to fall asleep around 4 in the morning. When I woke up 2 hours later, I found Gerard dead asleep next to me. I almost threw him out the window. When he came back to pick me up, I could see that he was in no position to drive. He was almost falling asleep at the wheel. I tried to take over, but he screamed at me to get the hell off the wheel. He said he was fine, but his eyes were closing. The whole ride was tense. But Gerard had kissed me goodbye before we departed for class, so I knew that he wasn't mad at me.

I could hardly wait till all my classes ended. I wanted to get to lunch so I could sleep some of my exhaustion off. Even though I had drunk 6 cups of coffee, I was still tired. Finally Trig ended and I dashed out of the room. Gerard was leaning against the wall outside the classroom.

"Hey," I said as I reached up to touch my lips to his.

He put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him with a little more strength than appropriate for the school hallway. I pushed away and shot him a dirty look as a few people wolf whistled. He grinned at me and took my hand. We walked out of the school building and threw some bread crumbs to the little ducks on the pond in front of the high school. After about ten minutes, we decided to go get some lunch. Besides, it looked like it was going to rain anyway. When we neared the cafeteria doors, the aroma of hot dogs and French fries hit my face and made my stomach grumble. Gerard heard it and smiled at me slyly. I only scowled and let him pass me. When I walked through the doors, the first thing I noticed was the 6 shockingly lovely people staring at me intently.

They were all extremely pale - paper pale. One was huge like a wrestler. Another was a beautiful blond who had the perfect body. The next person was very tall. He was blond as well. The next one was a girl and she had the air of a ballerina. My eyes slid to the last two. The boy was extremely handsome and had the prettiest bronze hair. The last person was probably the most beautiful. She had shoulder length brown hair; it was almost the same color as my hair. She has big beautiful gold eyes and her lips were perfect. I also noticed that she was staring at me as if her life depended on it. At that moment, her eyes flashed up to my face and we locked gazes. Just then, the strangest thing happened.

Images of my childhood flashed through my mind. I heard the laughter of a woman and the giggle of a baby. The baby was me. The woman picked me up. I looked the same, but I had black hair. The woman held me close to her chest and I heard the gentle throb of her heartbeat.

I gasped. Why did I suddenly remember these memories when I looked this absurdly stunning girl?

Gerard tugged on my hand, probably wondering why I was standing in the doorway with a look of shock on my face. I shook my head sharply side to side. I looked up again and saw that the beautiful girl was talking excitedly to the bronze haired boy. She looked ecstatic and the boy just looked resigned. I studied the girl's face as Gerard and I walked into the cafeteria. She looked so familiar, but only vaguely. As I watched her, I wanted to sit next to her. I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to know everything about this girl. I wanted to be her friend.

I slowly walked up the lunch line. I bought a bottle of lemonade and a granola bar. Granola bars dominated diet nowadays. Gerard piled his tray with two slices of pizza, a Gatorade bottle, and some cookies. I rolled my eyes at his full tray. We paid for our food. Gerard veered left to head to the table where we normally ate. I grabbed a fistful of his jacket.

"What?" Gerard asked when he turned around.

"Can we sit over there?" I asked as I nodded in the direction of the beautiful people.

"Why?"

"I dunno…I just want to sit with them. They are new after all. Maybe we should introduce ourselves."

Gerard looked at me curiously for a second and then shrugged.

"Why not?"

We made our way to that table. As we neared the table, everyone sat up straighter. I walked slowly up to them. I stood in front of one of the empty chairs.

"May we sit here?" I asked in a small voice.

No one said anything for a second, but then the girl I had noticed before smiled a shockingly beautiful smile.

"Please," She said as she motioned for me to sit.

I smiled and sat down, Gerard taking the seat next to me. There was a small silence.

"I'm Alice. And this is Gerard," I said.

The bronze haired boy looked at us carefully.

I'm Edward. This Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Bella," He motioned to each of the people. **(Don't be confused when human Alice says something like: Alice giggled. If it's confusing, say so in the review and I'll do something about it)**

I learned that the girl who was called Bella was the one who was staring at me.

"Wow. My name is Alice, too. And my middle name has Rosalie in it!" I exclaimed.

Bella beamed.

"So, are you new around here?" I asked softly.

"Yes, we just moved here from Maine," Emmett answered.

Gerard spoke. "Like where Poland Springs comes from?"

I winced as Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance and a smirk. Why must Gerard act so stupid when we're with people but when we're alone he's suddenly Albert Einstein?

"Yeah…Exactly where Poland Springs came from," Emmett giggled.

My mouth fell open. Whoa. Did the wrestler dude just _giggle_?

"Don't worry about him. He's having his PMS," Alice said as she rolled her eyes.

Gerard laughed and Emmett shot Alice a death glare.

"So, Alice," Bella interjected quickly. "Have you always lived here?"

"Yeah. Well, actually, no. I was born in Forks, Washington and then when I was a few months old, my parents moved here."

Bella's eyes filled with some pain and sadness, but it disappeared a second later.

"So your parents are here?"

"No," I scoffed and my voice and my eyes filled with anger. "It's just me and my dad. My mom…she's a _bitch_."

Bella cringed away from me, her eyes filled with hurt. Everyone dropped their eyes to the table awkwardly. Before I lowered my eyes, I saw Edward's hand reach up and rub Bella's back.

"Sorry," I muttered as I let my hair cover my face.

What was I apologizing for? Maybe Bella didn't like it when people cursed?

"No, it's okay…You didn't do anything," Bella whispered.

I looked up, and Gerard brushed the bangs away from my eyes. He reached down and took my hand under the table. He knew I hated it when the subject of our baby days was brought up.

"So…what kind of car do you have?" Edward asked quickly.

"I have a Cadillac," Gerard said, perking up.

"What year?"

"2006"

"What's it called?"

"The Cadillac Escalade."

"Nice."

Then, Edward and Gerard got into a detailed conversation of cars. Me, Rosalie, Alice, and Bella rolled our eyes. Emmett and Jasper joined the conversation eventually. Bella would smile at me a lot, but her eyes were still hurt.

Lunch was almost over when Bella asked me a question.

"Where do you go to next?"

"Umm…Gym," I answered.

Alice smiled manically.

"I have Gym, too!" She exclaimed. Her voice was really high. "What sport are we playing?"

"Umm," I searched my brain for the sport we were playing. "Oh! I know! We're playing tennis!"

"Really?" Alice didn't sound like she genuinely cared about the sport we were playing in gym. "Where do you shop?"

I was shocked by the random question. We were just talking about sports…

"Umm…I haven't been shopping for a while," I admitted sheepishly.

"Where'd you get your jeans from?"

I looked down at my jeans. When I bought them, they were a nice dark color. But long time use wore them down. The knees were ripped and the denim was now a pale blue.

"JC Penney," I remembered suddenly. "I got them 3 years ago."

"So, you're saying that you haven't been shopping in three years?" Bella inquired as Alice opened her mouth.

I looked down at the table, and then looked up again. "Yes," I whispered.

Why did I feel so guilty? Why did I feel like I was getting scolded?

"Doesn't your dad say anything?" Bella asked. Her voice and eyes were concerned.

Why did she care so much?

"No, he doesn't know. My clothes all fit fine, so he really doesn't care."

Why was Bella looking at me like she was going to cry?

"He doesn't care?" She asked flatly.

"Well, I mean…He cares. But he just doesn't pay attention…He's too preoccupied."

"Ah."

I could tell Bella wasn't entirely done speaking, but the lunch bell rang. I jumped up quickly, shoving the granola bar into my pocket and the bottle of lemonade into my bag.

"Oh, I'm sorry. We kept you from lunch," Bella said softly.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't eat much anyway," I answered with a reassuring grin.

"Okay, Alice. I've got Biology next with Emmett. Have fun in Gym," Gerard said as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck and departed with Emmett for class.

Bella frowned as she watched Gerard walk away. "He's not a junior?"

"No, he's not. He's a senior. He's 18," I added.

"He's your boyfriend?"

"No he's my sister."

Bella giggled and the sound was so pretty, like a Nightingale.

Alice and I said our goodbyes to the rest of them, and walked off to the Gym.

"Wait," I said suddenly. "I never got your last names…And are all of you brothers and sisters?"

Alice flashed me a tight grin. "In a sense. But we're not related by blood. Emmett and Edward are my adoptive brothers. Bella is Jasper and Rosalie's cousin. My last name is Cullen and Bella's, Jasper's, and Rosalie's are Hale."

"Oh."

"I don't believe I caught your last name either."

"Black. My last name is Black."

Alice's eyes flashed angrily for a moment, and then they went blank. The rest of the walk was silent. When we reached the locker room, I dashed in and got dressed quickly.

Gym was the same annoying event. I teamed up with Alice. She seemed to move with such disturbing grace. I was jealous.

School finished quickly. I had no classes with Bella, but I did have one class with Edward. He didn't talk much, but he sure was pretty to look at. Edward did ask me a question, though.

"Do you have a car, Alice?"

"Yes"

"What kind?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed before answering. "A Toyota 4Runner. It was made in 2000."

"Oh…When did you get it?"

"My dad bought it when I was 13…It needed a lot of work. He gave it to me as a birthday present when I turned 16 and got my license."

"Ms. Black? Would you care to answer my question about The Comedy of Errors?"

Edward whispered the answer under his breath. At least he was helpful.

School ended and I met Gerard in the parking lot. When he drove me home, Emmett was all he could talk about.

"He's really cool…He's funny, too," Gerard babbled.

I rolled my eyes and stared out the window. It was pouring outside, and everything looked gray. While I stared out at the wet world, I thought about the Cullens and the Hales. There was something different about them. Bella especially. Bella was very different. When Gerard rolled to a stop in front of my house, I leaned in to give him a kiss. He kept the kiss light, but I wanted more, so I crushed my body against his. When he pulled away from me, he grinned at me and laughed at my bewildered expression.

"We have plenty of time for that tonight," Gerard whispered against my neck.

I kissed him again and stepped out of the old car. I stepped into the rain and ran up the driveway and into the house. My dad wasn't home yet, so the house was quiet. I washed my hands in the sink and grabbed an apple. I finished my apple and rank milk straight from the carton. I grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt and stepped into the shower. After I was done, I got dressed and started doing my homework. It was only 5 and Dad wouldn't be back home till 9.

I sighed and rolled myself onto the couch. I thought about Bella. Why did she flinch when I mentioned my mother? I had a lot of time to think about that. I just want to be Bella's friend…I sighed, rolled over, and listened to the sound of the rain pounding on the window.

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**Heyy! Okay you guys thanks for reviewing…If you were paying attention, I Alice decribes Bella with brown hair, almost like her own. But last chapter it says that Bella dyed her hair black…I decided that I want Bella to look almost the same so, thanks for putting up with me! And I've decided I'll put the next chapter up if I get 10 reviews…so REVIEW! Heh…buh byee! Thanks for reading! And, if you wanna see Gerard's and Alice's cars, check out my profile! ♥  
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	8. Author's note1

**I know, everyone hates author's notes…but it's just that I'm sick…Argh...it makes my head hurt too look at the computer screen…Sorry for the inconvenience! I really do mean it…And, thanks for the reviews! They came so quickly!! Ha ha! So thank you, and good night…OH! Here's a little tidbit from the next chapter…Heheh…Hope you like it! **

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Edward demanded.

"Bringing you here. I'm sorry that I dragged everyone to this dreary old place where memories should be locked up."

"Oh, no, Bella. No!" Edward said as he slid closer to me. He gently pulled his hand from my hand and gathered my face. His face was inches away from my face, and his sweet breath fanned across my face as he spoke. "Don't apologize, Bella. Don't apologize for anything like this. You have every right to be here."

I nodded but he could see the skepticism in my eyes. He pulled away and dropped his hands from my face…

REVIEW!!! )…luv ya guys!


	9. As Long As You're Here

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**A/N: Here it is! The much awaited for Chapter 7! Thanks so much for being patient with me…You're reviews really helped... (Hint, hint)…Lol…anyways, thanks you guys!**

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

Edward and I slid into the Volvo quietly. He got into the drivers seat and I didn't argue with him. I sat down in the passenger seat, and glanced at his face worriedly. It was blank, and it reminded me of my ill-fated 18th birthday party.

"Edward…?" I whispered as I took his hand.

Edward glanced at my face.

"Yes, Bella?"

I flinched at the emptiness in his voice. I took his hand to my face and kissed it. Edward's face softened and the sadness became clear on his face.

"Bella," He whispered. He slowly maneuvered the car off the road and onto the shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" Edward demanded.

"Bringing you here. I'm sorry that I dragged everyone to this dreary old place where memories should be locked up."

"Oh, no, Bella. No!" Edward said as he slid closer to me. He gently pulled his hand from my hand and gathered my face. His face was inches away from my face, and his sweet breath fanned across my face as he spoke. "Don't apologize, Bella. Don't apologize for anything like this. You have every right to be here."

I nodded but he could see the skepticism in my eyes. He pulled away and dropped his hands from my face.

"Bella!" he exclaimed, suddenly aggravated. "Look around you! You lived here! You lived here with your husband and daughter! And then I suddenly came back and shattered the life you had here. I took you away from your family, Bella. I took away everything from you. I took away all the little human things I know you loved. You loved to cook. When you became a vampire, you had no one to cook for. You liked to sleep. When you slept, you dreamed. But when you became a vampire, you couldn't sleep and you couldn't dream. The worst thing of all, though-" Edward stopped himself and took a deep breath. "The worst thing of all is that I took you away from your family. I took you away from your human life…I took you away from everything, Bella. And the thing that kills me the most is that Alice, your daughter, will never know how such a loving and forgiving person you are. She will never have a mother to care for her and love her. And you won't have a daughter to care for."

I stared at Edward, awed. Did he still regret changing me into a vampire?

"Edward…Tell me, do you regret changing me?" I asked my voice breaking.

Edward looked at me, and every part of his face was soft. He bent down and kissed me on the lips, slowly and softly. He put both hands on either side of my face. When he pulled away he put his cheek to mine, so his mouth was close to my ear.

"No," He murmured.

I pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"Bella, I love you always…And I will never regret changing you to be with me forever. The only thing I regret is how I took you away from everything. I can never regret meeting you and finding my love within you," He whispered. His eyes were gold and sincere.

If I were human, I knew that tears would have formed in my eyes. Heck, if I was human, I would be bawling. I threw my arms around Edward, and sobbed tearlessly into his neck. He put his arms around me and rubbed my back soothingly. We embraced like that for a few minutes. Finally I stopped sniffling. I pulled my face away from Edward's neck but my arms remained around him. Edward smiled at me crookedly, and my insides almost burst from the feeling of love that filled it. I grinned back at Edward, but it was a weak grin.

"So, Bella…You never did ask me what Alice was thinking when we saw her," Edward said casually.

"You're right? What was Alice thinking!? You have to tell me everything."

Edward's forehead creased and he frowned a little bit.

"She remembered you."

I gasped. "Alice knows that I'm her mother?"

"No, no. She just sort of had a flashback. She remembered your laugh…and your heartbeat," Edward's face became pleading and he removed my hands from around his neck and held them in his hands. "Bella, please. Understand what I'm trying to tell you. Don't get in too deep with Alice. I can't bear to see you heartbroken because we have to leave and we can't take Alice with us. Please, Bella. Please understand what I'm trying to tell you."

"I understand…But I want to know Alice. I want to be her best friend. I want to be her mother!" I protested violently.

Edward shrugged and started the car engine.

"You don't have to listen to me, but I hope you do."

The rest of the ride was quiet, but inside I was bubbling. I tried to think of a word that would fit what I was feeling.

Hyper? No…

Spastic? No...

Sugar high?

That's when it hit me. Wasn't there a song by Sugarcult that was called Superhyperspastic? That's exactly what I was feeling! Superhyperspastic! I reached over to grab the box of CDs Edward always brought with him during car trips. I rifled through the box looking for an album called "Eleven". I found it and looked at the song listing. Superhyperspastic was number seven. I popped the CD in and skipped to Superhyperspastic. Edward raised an eyebrow when he heard the song.

"Since when do you listen to Sugarcult?" He asked.

"Umm…I don't really know."

Edward grinned and gunned the engine. When we made it home, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie were lounging on the porch. Edward and I stepped out of the car, and my face was glowing.

"Hey, guys!" I shouted as I dashed through the forest like front yard.

Alice jumped up and gave me a hug. Emmett proceeded to hug us both at the same time, making our feet leave the ground for a moment. When he finally let us go, I grinned at him and poked me in the gut.

"So, little sister. How was your first day of school?"

I made a face. "It was okay."

"Alice is pretty," Alice said randomly. "She looks like you."

"Yeah, she does," Edward said.

"She never looked like that when she was a baby. She had black hair and it wasn't as thick and wavy," I noted. "And when did she get so _pale_? It kinda scares me. It's like an unhealthy skin color."

Edward and Alice nodded in agreement. I bounded up the porch stairs suddenly remembering why I was so happy.

"I'm SUPERHYPERSPASTIC!" I sang as I leaped through the doorway.

I could almost picture Edward and everyone else staring at me in confusion.

"Uh...Edward? Is she okay?" I heard Emmett whisper to Edward.

The rest of the day flew by quickly. I zipped through my all of my homework. I finished before Edward.

"You know, Bella. You should really consider going to college," Edward said as he watched me make the bed and put clothes back into the closet.

In all my 35 years, I had never considered going to college. I was content with simply going to high school.

I skipped around the house, dusting nonexistent dust away from all the surfaces. Everyone knew why I was being so hyper. I had gotten Superhyperspastic stuck in my head and I couldn't stop humming it. I paraded into the living room. I saw Jasper and Alice snuggled up on a couch. Rosalie stretched across the other couch idly flipping through Witch Child by Celia Rees.

"So, Rose?" I asked as I moved her legs so I could sit on the same couch. "Watcha reading?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes before answering. "Witch Child. The text is kinda hard to understand, though. I feel really bad for the girl's grandma."

I nodded. I had read the book numerous times….In sixth grade. I often wondered what happened to Mary. Was she hung? Or did she escape?

"So how were your classes?"

Rosalie let out a sigh. "They were fine! And I also had a class with Alice's boyfriend. He's a strange person. He was dozing off the whole class. And he was the only guy not staring…" Rosalie flipped her long blond tresses in annoyance.

I laughed.

"You know she called you a bitch," Rosalie shot back icily. Her dark eyes flashed and seemed to get darker that moment.

I knew who Rosalie was talking about. I got up abruptly and stalked out of the room.

"Rosalie!" I heard Jasper snap. "God, what is your problem? Can't you see how happy Bella is? Why the hell must you ruin everything with your vanity? Can't you just be happy for her just this one time?"

Rosalie snapped something back, but I blocked her voice out. I stepped out into the backyard and seated myself on the hammock. A slight breeze played with my long brown hair. I watched as the leaves swirled around. I closed my eyes, and Alice's face popped into my mind. Her lovely brown eyes were big and she was laughing. Her bangs were in her eyes and she shook her head. Then, the pretty face vanished. In it's place, it was an angry Alice.

"She's a bitch!" She mouthed.

I opened my eyes. I really shouldn't daydream about her…It wasn't good for my health.

I closed my eyes again and fell into a doze that I could only achieve. I was awake, no doubt about that. But I was in a state of…meditation. It was almost as if I was in touch with the world. I felt the hammock shift under me and I opened my eyes. Edward was seated on the end of the hammock, watching me.

"Hey," I whispered as I pushed hair out of my face.

"Hey," He whispered. "I heard what happened. Are you okay?"

I shifted a little bit and sat down on Edward's lap. I leaned against his chest and sighed.

"I'll be okay as long as you're here."

**I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! THANKS FOR READING! And special thanks to Holiday Parade for helping me overcome my illness and writer's block…I love you, Rohan Kohli! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥**


	10. Fast food and a Side of Tears

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**A/N: Thanks soo much for dah reviews!! I luv you guys! So anyways, this chapter shall be from Alice's POV but this chapter might be a little suckish because I have writers block.**

**Chapter 8**

**Alice POV**

"Alice?" Jacob called as he unlocked the door.

I rolled off the couch before answering. "Yah, Daddy?"

Jacob walked into the living room to find me sitting on the floor, my hair in disarray. He rolled his eyes at the apple core at my feet and my rumpled appearance.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked.

"Umm…We had Chinese last night, right?"

"Yeah…So do you want pizza or Mexican?"

"Uhh…I'll just have a slice of pizza."

"Hey Dad? What did we have for dinner last week?"

"I think we had…Subway! We had Subway."

"Are we eating in or having the pizza delivered?"

Jacob's forehead creased. "What do you want to do?"

"Let's eat in."

"Okay…Get dressed and we'll go out."

I climbed up the stairs, shaking my head. We ate out for dinner almost every night. It was unhealthy. But neither of us could cook, so there was little we could do. I changed out of my comfy sweats and into ripped jeans. I pulled a polo over my head and then I pulled a sweatshirt over it. I brushed my hair, making sure that my bangs fell properly against my forehead. I tripped lightly down the stairs. Jacob was waiting on the couch, a jacket thrown over his office clothes. He smiled at me a little when he saw me and motioned to the front door. We ran though the rain and climbed into his 2007 Mercedes Benz.

I relaxed into the leather seats as Jacob played some classical music. I stared out the window at the sheeting rain. It was silent, save for the sound of the rain pounding against the windows and the purr of the engine and the piano music.

After a few seconds, I was getting the feeling that someone was staring at me. I turned my head a fraction of an inch to see Jacob staring at me intently. I shifted uncomfortably his gaze.

"You're mother loved this song," Jacob announced as he looked away from me and through the windshield. "I can tell you like it, too. You're mother would have the same look on her face."

"Dad…" I warned. I really didn't want to discuss my poor excuse as a mother.

Jacob immediately looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, honey. I won't bring it up again."

We reached the pizzeria in the next 5 minutes. As we ran across the parking lot, Jacob took my hand. I never realized how warm his hand was. It almost made me think he had a fever. The pizzeria was empty, save for a man who looked like he had been from hell and back. "The Great Escape" by Boys Like Girls was being blared from the speakers. I hummed along with it because I knew all the lyrics and it was one of my favorite songs. The smells coming form the kitchen were intoxicating and my stomach growled. I realized now that I was ravenous. My stomach growled again and Jacob raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you eat anything today besides that apple?" He asked disapprovingly.

I thought hard, trying to remember if I ate anything today. I chugged coffee for breakfast. For lunch…I didn't eat anything during lunch. I still had that bottle of lemonade and granola bar in my book bag.

"Well?" Jacob demanded.

"Does coffee count as food?"

Jacob groaned. "Alice! You have to eat!"

"Yeah okay. But I won't be able to eat now because you're not ordering the pizza!"

Jacob shot me a stern glance and walked up to the counter. I seated myself at one of the cute tables in the corner and started to idly play with one of the napkins.

_Grown up  
She just turned 16  
Stuck in the moment  
Dead at the scene  
And it's on tonight  
This is the life that you wanted, right?  
So turn off all the lights  
Dressed up just like a movie star  
At all the parties they'll know who you are  
Wouldn't it be great, to be fashionably late?  
So why don't you wait, till you're sedated  
Don't it feel like something's not right in his kiss tonight?_

I recognized the song now spilling from the speakers. It was "Dance Hall Drug" by Boys Like Girls. It was one of my favorite songs. This pizzeria must really like them. Jacob returned from the counter and took the empty seat across from me. I ignored him and continued to fool around with the napkin.

"So," Jacob said softly.

I glanced at his face for a brief second and then devoted my full attention to the napkin. I wished I hadn't asked if we could eat in. Jacob wanted to fill every silence with conversation, but I didn't cooperate. I wasn't exactly what you would call a talker. The only person I talked to the most was Gerard.

The pizza came just then, and I was glad that I had something to devote my attention to. I picked a slice of plain pizza and put it on my paper plate. Jacob did the same, but he took three slices instead. I took a tiny bite, and my taste buds almost cried out in pleasure. This pizzeria made fabulous pizza. I looked up from the pizza and glanced at Jacob, who was already starting his second slice. I rolled my eyes and finished my pizza.

When we got home, it was still raining and my hair had turned frizzy and the hem of my jeans was all muddy. I stalked off to my room after thanking Jacob for dinner. I changed into my pajamas and waited for Gerard to sneak in through my window. After about ten minutes, I got bored. I got up and looked through the books in my bookcase and selected my favorites- which happened to be all of Jane Austen's works. I picked out Pride and Prejudice and started to read. I got bored ten pages into the book. I had already read the book numerous times, and I had almost memorized it. I put all my books away and crept out of my bedroom. I glanced at the clock in the hallway. It was 9:30. In about 5 minutes, Jacob would come up into his bedroom so he could go to sleep. I had to act quickly.

I tiptoed into his large room, and stopped. I inhaled deeply. The room smelled of some woman's perfume, but it was so familiar. I knew it wasn't mine because I don't wear perfume. And it couldn't have been some other woman's because I knew for a fact that Jacob never dated a woman besides my mother.

Remembering why I was here, I skipped across the room and to Jacob's drawer. I opened the bottom one and rifled through jeans and pants. Buried underneath all the clothes, I found what I was looking for. The cover was brown and it was untitled. I grabbed it and stuffed it under my shirt. I closed the drawer and dashed out of the room.

When I reached my bed, I collapsed onto it. I stared at the photo album I had stolen from Jacob just a few seconds ago. My hand hovered near the cover. I paused, debating whether I should open it. I took a deep breath, and opened it.

The first picture was of me when I was a baby. I was sitting down, smiling up at the camera. My hair was black and sticking up on one side. I had one tooth that was sticking out adorably.

The next picture was one of my grandparents. Charlie and Renee were standing side by side. Charlie had an arm draped around Renee and they were both smiling. I could see Renee's husband hovering in the corner of the picture, looking displeased and jealous. I laughed.

The next picture was of Jacob when he was younger. He was tall and looked awkward. His hair was long and tied into a ponytail at the nape of his neck. I wondered why he cut it all off.

The next picture was of my mom. As much as I hated her, I couldn't help to see how beautiful she was. She had long brown hair that was the same shade of mine. Her nose was thin and her lips were ill proportioned. But it was all those flaws that made her so perfect.

I was just about to turn the page when I heard a small grunt come from my window. I ran over to the window and saw Gerard struggling with the tree across the window.

"Need help?" I asked.

"Nope…Just get out of the way…I don't want you to get hurt," Gerard answered breathlessly.

Gerard swung his feet, grunted again, and launched himself through my window. While he was still in the air, I situated myself under his airborne body and spread my arms out wide. He fell into my arms, but his weight was too much so I fell. He came down with me. I squeezed my eyes shut and my head thumped against the plush carpet. I opened my eyes to find Gerard's face centimeters away from mine, his eyes shocked, amused, and outraged at the same time.

"What were you thinking?" He demanded as he pushed himself off me.

"I wanted to catch you."

Gerard rolled his eyes and stared at me like he caught me stealing cookies.

"I think you should leave that to me. Besides, you might get hurt. I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if were hurt."

I got up from off the floor.

"Hold on…I need to go to the bathroom," I said as I dashed out of the room.

When I came back, Gerard was situated on my bed, looking at the open photo album. I joined him on the bed and looked at what he was staring at. It was a picture of me, my mom, and Jacob. I was probably one. Jacob had a white shirt on and my mom was in a purple shirt. My mom was holding me and I had my arms wrapped around hand. My mother was smiling down at me.

I looked up at Gerard's face and saw that his eyes were wet.

"You guys look so happy there," He whispered, his voice breaking twice. "I had a lot of pictures like that with _my _parents."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly. All I knew about Gerard's personal life is that he was living alone in his own apartment.

"Alice….My parents are _dead._"

I sucked in a deep breath.

"When I was born, my family was very poor. My dad clawed his way to the top of the business and he became very wealthy. I was to inherit a lot of money from them when they passed away. But when I was ten, my parents and I were on the highway coming back from the city." Gerard closed his eyes. "A deer stepped out onto the highway. My dad swerved, but he ended up in the opposite lane. The southern bound cars hit him and my mother head on. I was in the backseat and I only suffered minor injuries. My parents died instantly. I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle. At the time, I didn't know about the inheritance money. When I learned about it, my uncle had already spent it foolishly on drugs and alcohol. I was crushed. When I argued about it with him, he hit me. I knew I had to leave. But I couldn't because the government would be after me. I met you around that time. Alice, you were like my angel. You gave me a reason to not to kill myself. During the summer between junior and senior year, I turned 18. When I told you that I was going on vacation, it was a lie. What I was really doing was moving out of my uncle's house. My aunt loaned me some money to get an apartment."

I was frozen. Gerard was an orphan? And all those times I had whined to him about my dad…How much had it hurt him?

"Alice, I loved my parents! I did! And when I lost them I thought nothing would ever make me happy. But then you showed up Alice. You bought light to me in my dark world. You are the most important thing to me, ever," He said. Then he dropped his head to my shoulder and started to cry.

I reached up and hugged him. I started to weep, too. Because it hurt me how much pain he had gone through. And I wasn't angry that he kept this from me for so long.

So together we cried. Sorrow and joy. Our tears marked a new beginning.

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So sad...If you review, Gerard will give you a hug! Or, you can get a hug from Jacob if you want...) 


	11. Movies

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone! And there are a couple of things I forgot to add in mah author's note last chapter. The classical music that was playing in the car on the way to the pizzeria was Clair De Lune composed by Claude Debussy. Also, if you're wondering how Jacob, Alice, and Gerard have such nice cars, wonder no more. All the cars they have are older models (2000-2007). So obviously, the older cars come cheaper in the 2020s. And Boys Like Girls is a friggin awesome band! I luv yu!!!**

**Chapter 9**

**BPOV**

It was another gloomy day in the town of Ithaca. I smiled up at the impending rain clouds and the gray sky.I looked over next to me and saw Edward trying to yank a shirt over his head. His bronze hair was completely messed up, but yours would be too if you had spent the night doing…Whatever. It was great.

Edward blinked and looked over at me. His gray shirt was on inside out and his jeans were wrinkly. I stifled a laugh. He actually looked like a teenager when he was bewildered and dressed so sloppily. Edward cocked his head at my sudden giddiness.

"Did I do something?" He asked.

"Hey, Edward? You might want to wear something else to school."

Edward looked down at his clothes and grinned sheepishly. He changed into a white office like shirt and jeans. I couldn't help but stare at him. Even after being with him for so long, I could never get used to his beauty and perfection. He caught me ogling and winked.

"Hey there, Pretty Lady," He said with a mock southern accent.

"Oh please," I muttered as I rolled my eyes.

When we arrived at school, the first thing I looked for was Alice. My sharp eyes scanned the school parking lot and I found what I was looking for.

Alice was leaning against the side of her black Toyota. She was wearing a gray and navy sweater and dark jeans. Her pretty brown hair was wild and she had the cutest pout on her face. She looked like she was waiting for something.

Just then, a big SUV came chugging around the corner. Alice's deathly pale face lit up and she began waving frantically to the driver. As the SUV passed Edward's car, I saw that it was Gerard, Alice's boyfriend. He carefully maneuvered his car into the empty space next to Alice's car. He climbed out of the car and before he had oriented himself, Alice had thrown herself on him and locked her lips around Gerard's.

A maternal instinct came over me and all I wanted to do was pull Alice away from Gerard. Such public display of affection was disgraceful.

Faster than was humanly, I dashed over to where Alice and Gerard were kissing. I shifted from foot to foot, making sure that the loose change in my pocket made a certain amount of noise. They hadn't even noticed me. I cleared my throat loudly and jangled my change. Alice and Gerard finally broke apart. They looked at me sheepishly. Gerard looked slightly annoyed that I interrupted such a "passionate" moment and Alice looked embarrassed. She caught my eye, flushed tomato red, and lowered her gaze to the ground. It looks like Alice has inherited my trait of monstrous blushes.

"Hello, Bella," Gerard said coldly. He wrapped his arm around Alice's waist and I had to fight the urge to break his arm.

"Gerard," I matched my tone to his.

He and I stared each other down for a few seconds. He never flinched, which was surprising.

"So, Bella…Did you need to tell me something?" Alice asked nervously as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Oh, yeah. I wanted to know if you wanted to go see a movie with me."

Alice laughed. "It sounds like you're asking me out."

I committed her laugh to my memory. It was so melodic.

"Well, I am asking you out…But only in a friendly way." I said.

Alice laughed again. "Sure!" The school bell rang, and Alice looked anxiously over her shoulder. "Well, I better go to class…I'll see you at lunch?"

I nodded. Alice smiled at me again and turned to scurry off to her class, her hand entwined with Gerard's. I looked over my shoulder and saw Edward staring at me with disapproval. I waved cheerfully to him, and Edward sighed as he trudged forward to meet me. When he reached me, he extended a hand and I took it. He didn't say anything and neither did I. When we reached the main doors, Edward began to talk.

"Bella…" His tone was disapproving.

"I'll be careful, I promise!"

"That's certainly something to think about….But that wasn't why I was telling you to be careful. I don't want Jacob to catch your scent on Alice. It would only break out in a fight. And please…Please don't become too attached to Alice. There's no way I can see you go though that kind of heartbreak again," Edward pleaded.

I nodded. I could see Edward's logic, but how could a mother be logical when all she wanted was to befriend her daughter?

Edward and I walked silently to class. I put my head on the desk and closed my eyes.

_Alice's chubby baby face was all scrunched up as Jacob and she walked out of my life. Jacob didn't look back, but Alice wouldn't turn away. I collapsed into Edward's arms and he carried me up to his room. All I did was cry. I wouldn't talk…I wouldn't eat. After a week or so, I began to throw up after every meal. Edward's brow furrowed as Carlisle told him what could be wrong with me. _

_"Edward, she might be going through shock. Or her body is just so sick with grief, that it's rejecting everything she eats. And the last one…" Carlisle trailed off. _

_"NO!" Edward roared. No doubt he heard the last thing in Carlisle's mind._

_"Think about it, Edward! Look at her! She's been married to Jacob for about a year! Ever heard: 'When married, you're obligated to have sex'?"_

_ I cringed. I knew what Carlisle saying…He thought that I was pregnant But I couldn't be pregnant! IF I was pregnant, there would be no forever for me and Edward! And it wouldn't be a good idea to grow a baby with vampires. And I couldn't go back to Jacob…I would die of heartbreak…and Jacob might not even want to take me back. I coughed and Edward whirled around to face me. He grabbed the tops of my arms and lifted me up so my eyes were on the same level as his._

_"Bella! When was the last time?!" Edward shouted as he shook me like a doll._

_"Edward! No!" Carlisle bellowed as he grabbed me out of Edward's clutches._

_Carlisle held me like a baby, making sure that Edward couldn't reach me. I peeked over Carlisle's arm and saw that Edward's eyes were far beyond the realms of Earth._

_"When was the last time you and Jacob had intercourse?" Carlisle asked me softly._

_I blushed…I really didn't want to tell Edward's father about my sex life…_

_"Two weeks ago," I whispered. My voice was hoarse._

_After a several tests, it turned out that I wasn't pregnant. Poor Edward…it must have tortured him._

The class bell rang just then, so Edward and I left. All the rest of my classes were the same, just me daydreaming the whole time. When the lunch bell rang, I almost ran to the cafeteria.

I saw Alice and her _boyfriend_ seated at an empty lunch table. Jasper and Alice came hand in hand into the cafeteria. Emmett and Rosalie paraded in after them. Emmett had an arm around Rosalie's shoulder. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist just then and I frowned in disgust. What was with everyone and public displays of affection, or PDAs? I cringed out of Edward's hold on me.

"What's wrong, Bella?" He asked.

"Tell me what Gerard is thinking, please," I answered my voice a little desperate.

Edward blinked and looked at me for a second, then creased his forehead.

"Well…let's see…"

After a few long seconds I tugged on Edward's arm. I couldn't take the suspense. Edward turned to look at me, his face impassive.

"Well?" I demanded.

"Gerard's thinking about doing something bad…."

"WHAT?!"

"He's thinking about doing something with Alice…"

"YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW, EDWARD CULLEN!"

"He's thinking about…eating a ton of pizza with Alice tonight."

I choked. "Are you kidding?"

Edward smiled crookedly and I slapped him on the arm.

"You scared me!" I looked up again and saw Alice staring at Edward and me curiously.

I waved and she smiled and motioned for me to come over. Gerard looked away from me, but not before I saw the sneer on his face. When I went to sit next to Alice she smiled timidly at the rest of the family. Clearly she hadn't been expecting the whole family to come over. As soon as Emmett and Jasper were seated, Gerard engaged them in a riveting conversation about sports. Rosalie fished through her oversized tote bag which she used as a book bag and pulled out various bottles of nail polish, nail polish remover, and napkins.

Alice pulled out the latest edition of Vanity Fair. Edward, realizing that he had nothing to do, joined the conversation about sports. So it was only me and my daughter.

"So Alice…What movie do you want to see tonight?" I asked.

"I know a theater that plays really old movies…He's my friend, so we can get in free. He said he's playing 'Blades of Glory' tonight."

"That movie isn't _that_ old…I watched it when it first came out," I said before I could stop myself.

Edward and Jasper sent me warning glances. Emmett and Gerard continued to talk as if nothing had happened.

"Ha…I'm only kidding." I knew my excuse was lame, but Alice seemed to buy it.

Alice nodded and lifted a bagel of her tray and bit into it. There was a small silence as she ate. She drank some water and bit into the bagel again.

It was fascinating to watch humans eat. It was all so planned…so unfun. Hunting was a lot more fun…The wind rush, the anticipation right before you're teeth bit into the animal…

Since Alice was eating and Gerard was eating and talking (which was a pretty disturbing sight) I had nothing to do. I pressed my palms together, and inhaled deeply. The scents that hit me were powerful. I smelled teen sweat and no one smelled particularly appetizing. I tilted my face in Alice's direction and inhaled again.

Alice didn't smell too great either. She had a floral scent about her, but then something strong overcame that, making her smell like the type of perfume that made you choke because it was too strong.

Lunch finished quickly and Alice had finished all the food on her tray. Alice and Alice hurried off to gym and Emmett and Gerard scurried off to biology. Rosalie and Jasper headed for their French class, and Edward and I went off to Biology.

After school ended, Alice and I met up in the hallway. Edward had agreed to drive the car home and Alice and I would take her car to the theater.

The movie theater was small and clean. Not too many people were here to watch Blades of Glory. I saw a grubby looking teen, a nerd, and a grown man with his girlfriend. While I gave Alice the money for the tickets, I said that I needed to go to the bathroom.

In reality, I was off to the little carts just outside the theater that sold cheap perfume and scented candles. I bought a bottle of their strongest scent and shoved it into my purse. I dashed back into the theater and saw Alice seated in the back row, a huge bucket of popcorn in her arms. I sat down next to her and she offered me some popcorn. I shook my head no and Alice shrugged and stuffed a fistful of it in her mouth. As she munched happily, I waited tensely for the movie to begin.

When the movie started, I loosened up as John Heder and Will Ferrell make fools of themselves by entering into pair skating together as a couple.

When the movie ended, I was so glad that Alice and I had made a start. She was quiet and sweet. She went into the bathroom to wash the popcorn butter off her hands and I followed her. Alice pushed the sleeves of her gray and navy sweater up, and what I saw on her wrists almost made me gag.

There were thin scars crisscrossing across both of Alice's wrists, and some of them looked fresh. Others looked years old.

"Alice!" I hissed and grabbed her arm and turned it around so I could stare at the scars. "What have you been doing?"

Alice tried to pull her arm back, but I had a firm grip on her arm.

"Let go!" She cried.

"No! Tell me what these are!"

"You're hurting me!"

"Tell me what these are!"

"They're cutting scars, damn it!"

"Why, Alice, why? Why would you do this to yourself?"

"It helps! It numbs the pain!" She screeched as I released her arm.

"What pain? Aren't you happy?"

"Hell no! Look around you! All the time I see happy kids who are holding their mom's hands! Sure, I'm not the only person without a mother, but my dad doesn't care! I know he loves me, but my mom hurt him so much. And it hurts to see him go through with this! And it hurts me! All the time I never had a real mom…I'll tell you something, Bella. When I hit puberty, I didn't know what the hell was going on, because no one told me! So there I was when I was 13. I saw some blood on my underwear and I thought I was dying. So I ran out of the house screaming that I was hurt and I was bleeding. My dad was mowing the lawn and boy, was he freaked out. I told him what was wrong…and OH MY GOSH it was embarrassing! Couldn't this all have been avoided?"

I stood there stunned and ashamed. What had I done to Jacob? He had never moved on, still in love with his enemy.

"Who introduced you to cutting yourself?" I asked softly.

"Gerard did. He's the best damn thing that ever happened to me. He's my best friend…and I think I love him."

"Gerard? So he cuts himself as well?"

"Yes."

I sighed, and caught myself before I slapped her across the face. How could Alice do this? How could Alice be influenced by Gerard? I always thought there was something different about him, and now I had a whole new reason to hate him. Alice stalked out of the bathroom and I followed her silently.

It began to rain during the car ride to my house. I told Alice to drop me off in front of those little houses that was about a dozen miles away from my real home. But she didn't know that. Before I got out, I took that cheap perfume out from my purse and sprayed Alice and the whole car. She didn't say anything, but shot me death glares. I stepped out into the rain and Alice sped away, leaving me alone in an alien world. A world of guilt and shame.

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**Ohh...Poor Bella...What a shock! Anyways, sorry that this chapter came so late...Fanfiction wouldn't let me upload for like 3 days..and I broke up with my bf today so yeah...'(...Tanks for reading! Now press the pretty purple button to the left and leave me a review...Edward willl give yu a hug!! ) **

**Love,**

**Melissa**


	12. Blood and Tears

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

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**A/N: Heyy! Sorry that chapter nine didn't come up sooner…Fanfic wouldn't let me upload because there were a bunch of errors whenever I tried to upload it. Anyways, thanks for reviewing, and this is for those who have a myspace. ****is my profile URL. Add mee! Please! ****♥**

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****

******Chapter 10**

******APOV**

When I got home, I cried. I cried and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. But the pain was still there, lurking just around the corner. Any serenity I might have would have been chased away by it. There was only one way to make the pain go away, or make it go away for a while.

I dug through my drawer and pulled out my knife. It gleamed in the light coming from my lamp. The stainless steel was stone cold and it made me shiver when it touched my skin. I pressed down, and I felt a sharp pain. I looked down, shocked.

Scarlet blood flowed from the long cut the knife had made. I felt it pulse out, making me feel woozy. Pain in my wrist throbbed again, and I gasped. My head swam and everything got blurry. Pain. I had felt pain when I cut myself. I never feel pain. Only numb.

Another wave of pain sent me into tears again. The bleeding wouldn't stop, and I was afraid that I had cut the vein. I cried out loud, and bit down on my lip so I wouldn't shout again. I bit down too hard, and I felt a sharp sting. Then I tasted the blood. I gagged. It tasted like I has put the knife in my mouth…Blood tasted like metal. The blood from my wrist was running down and spread on my white bed sheet.

I was going to die. The bleeding wouldn't stop.

Sobbing, I stumbled my way to the bathroom. I took off all my clothes, the blood from my wrist dripping onto them. I stood in the bathroom, blood falling on my naked form. I started to shiver, and my breathing became fast and shallow. Black spots were blooming in front of my eyes. Unthinkingly, I stepped into the shower. I turned the heat up all the way, and stood under the torrents of burning hot water. The scorching water scalded my back, but I didn't even wince. The blood gushing from my wrist was subsiding and my breathing was becoming less wild. I turned off the shower and walked out of the bathroom, nude and dripping.

I groped my way to the little closet in the hallway and grabbed the first rag I found. I wrapped it around my wrist. The bleeding had almost stopped, now. I leaned my wet forehead against the wall and practiced breathing evenly. I still felt a little lightheaded. I walked back into the bathroom and got a towel. Slowly, I toweled my hair slowly, trying not to bend my right arm too much.

Gingerly, I wrapped the towel around me and tip toed out to my room. I was glad that Jacob wasn't home. He would probably send me to a mental institute if he found out. I dug through my drawer, pulling out some shorts I never used. They were hot pink and very, very short. I pulled them on and they clung to my body. I searched for a tank top, pulled it on, and then pulled a faded sweatshirt over my head. I twisted my arm around so I could stare at the rag that covered my wrist.

The blood was soaking through, but I could tell that the blood had stopped bleeding. I tucked my legs underneath me and pulled the comforter around me. I shivered.

I had told Bella more than I had intended to. And I didn't know Bella would care so much! And when I mentioned Gerard's name, her eyes flashed and her jaw set, and for once, I was truly afraid of her. A weird gurgly feeling arose in my stomach and I promptly threw up in the garbage bin next to me.

I got up shakily on my unsteady legs and tripped down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen and stared at the little clock on the microwave.

It's one of my calming methods. Whenever I feel too stressed out, I stare at the clock. It sounds crazy, but there's something calming about the little green numbers.

I remember when Jacob wanted to get rid of that microwave. He said it was too old. It was too dirty. It was just too old. But I threw a tantrum when I saw it outside on the curb with the other trash. I started to cry, and I wouldn't go inside the house until Jacob took the microwave back. Of course, Jacob carried me back into the house and then he went to go get the microwave. He never did get why I stared at it all the time.

The front door opened.

"Alice?" Jacob called.

"In the kitchen!" I called back.

I heard Jacob's big feet pound on the wood floor as he approached the kitchen. He stepped into the kitchen and did a double take. He eyed my shorts with disdain.

"Aren't those a little to short, Alice?"

"What?"

I eyed my father. Never has he commented on my clothes. I looked at my father, but this time I really looked at him.

My dad was still pretty young. He was about 36 or 37. He was inhumanly tall and had the build of a wrestler. He had russet brown skin and I found it hard to believe that absolutely none of it went to me. His black hair was shiny and short. But there was something about his eyes. They were aged, somehow. Like he grew up too fast. And the corners of his mouth were pulled down into a permanent frown.

It was all very strange. When he was younger, his mouth was never like that. But his eyes always looked older than he was.

Jacob was uncomfortable now. He shifted from foot to foot. "You heard me. Your shorts are too short."

I nodded and walked over to the sink to get me some water. Jacob tapped his foot impatiently.

"Well?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

I blinked, surprised. "What?"

Jacob continued to look at me. Them, he became aggravated. "Do I have to spell it out for you? I want you to change into something else."

I blinked again and cocked my head. Jacob sighed and muttered, "How can I be a good parent if my kid isn't all too bright?"

"I heard that, you know."

Jacob grinned. "I know."

I rolled my eyes and finally went upstairs to change into something less revealing. I walked back downstairs for a granola bar. Jacob was seated at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich and paying the bills. His brow furrowed as he read the electricity bill.

"Alice? Have you been using the computer all night?"

I choked on the granola bar. The computer _was_ being used all night, but not by me. The only other person who touched my computer was Gerard.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well, it says here that we used $1,000 worth of electricity."

"_What?" _ I was soo going to kill Gerard when he came over tonight. "Maybe it's something else." I suggested weakly.

"Yeah, maybe it was someone else," Jacob replied sarcastically. "Alice, if I get another bill like this, that computer is gone. Got it?"

"Yeah…Sorry," I muttered.

I walked back up into my room, fuming all the way. I stomped into my bedroom and turned the computer. Gerard had sent me about a zillion IMs. I glanced behind my shoulder and saw my white bed sheet with the scarlet blood stains on it. Just looking at the blood made my head spin and I staggered. I slumped against the wall and breathed through my mouth. After a few minutes, I felt a little better. I closed my eyes and ripped the bed sheets from the bed, disposing my blood and tears.

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**Uhh…Yeah…I know this is wayyyy late…and the ending is kinda lame…But I have a lot going on lately…and I'm kinda stuck…I mean I know what's going to happen, I just don't know how to get there….so yeah…This is probably the worst chapters I have ever written…yeahh…anyways, thanks for putting up with mah lame chapters, and don't be surprised if Chapter 11 doesn't come up anytime soon….**

**Melissa 3**


	13. Starting Over

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Heyy again! I'm pretty sure that this chapter won't suck, but that's up tp you to decide:**

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**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

"Bella! Bella!" Edward shouted as I stepped into the house. He zoomed over to where I was and grabbed the tops of my shoulders and pressed my sopping wet body against him. "Where were you?" He muttered into my neck. "We were so worried about you!"

"What do you mean 'we'?" Alice exclaimed. "You were the one pacing the front hall. You know, Bella isn't a puny little human anymore!"

I knew Alice was attempting to make me smile, but it wasn't working. Her already cheery voice dripped with over cheeriness. She knew about Alice.

"Sorry, Dad," I told Edward as I pulled away from him. He frowned at me, but let me go.

"Hey, is something wrong? You don't look too good…"

"No, Edward. I'm fine…Just a little wet. I'm going upstairs to change." I replied as I shot Alice a look. Her wise and knowing eyes met mine immediately.

"I'll come, too…I'm going to help her pick something out," Alice said quickly.

Edward stared perplexedly at Alice and his brow furrowed. He was trying to read her mind. Before Alice could slip any information out, I grabbed her hand and raced up the stairs. We collapsed onto her bed and listened quietly to the sound of our steady and even breaths. Alice reached her hand out and her fingers hesitantly brushed the tips of my fingers.

"I'm so sorry," She whispered in a voice that was barely audible to my vampire ears.

I curled up into a ball and didn't say anything. Eventually, my clothes and hair dried, but there was a big wet patch on Alice's silk sheets.

"Oh…I'm sorry," I said as Alice began to strip the ruined sheets from the bed.

She flashed me a smile. "Don't worry about it." Her forehead creased a little bit. "You might want to head over to Edward. He's pacing again."

"Oh…okay," I said numbly.

"Here." Alice tossed me jeans and a shirt. "Put these on."

I pulled them on and walked in a daze to Edward's and my bedroom. I kicked the door closed and walked over to the bed, not quite knowing what I was supposed to do. Someone cleared their throat. I looked up and saw Edward standing at the foot of the bed. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked slightly mad…But he mostly looked concerned.

"Bella, I know you better thank you think I do...And I know something's up. So tell me. Did something happen with Alice when you went to the movies?"

I nodded and sat down on the fluffy mattress. Edward sighed and joined me on the bed. I thought he would press for details, but he didn't. He just sat there with me, not touching me. The silence added pressure, and I snapped. I let out a sob and threw my arms around Edward. I dry sobbed the whole story into his neck.

When I was done, Edward looked at me. His face was incredibly sad.

"My coming back for you didn't do much good," He muttered. "Look what I've done…"

I almost bit his head off.

"Edward Cullen! Don't you dare blame this on yourself! It isn't your fault!"

"Whose is it then?" Edward challenged.

"It's mine."

"Oh no. Don't even go there! I swear, Bella. Stop blaming problems on yourself! How is it your fault? Explain that to me?" Edward demanded.

"Well," I countered in an incredibly small voice. "I left her…She never got over it…I can still see her face when I left…" I was on the verge of dry sobbing again.

Edward put his palms on both sides of my face and leaned forward. He put his forehead against mine. He opened his mouth and I could smell his sweet breath fan across my face.

"I _took _you away. There's a difference."

"How so? I went with you freely."

"But you went only because I saw you in the mall. And then I took Alice. If I never picked her up…"

"Edward," I interrupted. "When you held Alice, what did you feel?"

Edward closed his eyes. "I felt…I can't pick out the feelings. I was thinking only one thing. I was holding something so small and precious in my hands. I can remember that baby smell, like warm milk…and I know this will sound strange, but I smelt _love._ I could smell you…I don't even know how to describe it…"

And then, Edward started to cry. He tried to hide it, but there was no denying the sounds coming from him. I put my arms around him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Edward chanted over and over again as he tried to compose himself.

"It's okay…It's okay…Shhh…"

I felt like a mother again.

Monday morning dawned bright and sunny. I paced the bedroom and nearly cried. I needed to talk to Alice. I needed to apologize. I just needed to talk to her. But I couldn't. It was sunny.

God was surely taunting me.

"Bella, calm down. You can still talk to her. Alice said that the weather will turn ugly in a few hours," Edward said as he watched me pace the room with slightly amused eyes.

I nodded but continued to pace. I shook my hair around my face, and then brushed it away impatiently.

"Bella?" Jasper called from the doorway.

"What?" I asked as I turned.

He had a grin on his face. "Calm down."

A wave of serenity washed over me and I suddenly realized that there was no use worrying. I would see Alice and that was all the mattered.

I spent the rest of the day with Esme and Alice. We curled up on the hammock in the backyard and braided each other's hair with our glittering hands. Of course, Alice's hair was too short to braid, so I just fooled around with it so the spikes would point in different positions. Rosalie was in her bedroom painting her nails. We invited her to come down with us, but she refused. And even though I faked disappointment, I was actually glad that Rosalie would not come down.

Even though I had spent 17 years in the same house as her, we could never quite get along. There were days when we would act like best friends, then days when we would ignore each other. At first, Edward assured me that Rosalie was just a complex creature. But I knew it was something else. One day, Rosalie and I had an argument so bad; Edward and Emmett had to lock us in their steely grip just so we wouldn't rip each other to pieces. The argument was fairly stupid; it was over who would pick the movie for that evening.

"Hey, Bella?" Esme's soft voice broke through the comfortable silence.

"Hmm?"

"Look."

I looked up at the sky and saw that it was an angry gray.

"Yayy!" I screamed. I jumped off the hammock and gave Esme a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you after three!"

I ran out toward the car and got in. I honked the horn impatiently. Almost simultaneously, everyone appeared. Edward, Alice, and Jasper got into my car. On the way to school, Edward sighed impatiently because I was going too slowly. Once we got to school, I jumped out and headed into the hallway. I smelled the air, looking for Alice's particular scent. I caught the scent and followed it. It led to the girls' bathroom.

Alice was standing in front of the mirror, adjusting her long, brown hair. She was a pale beauty, but it wasn't her face that caught my attention. It was her left wrist. Her left wrist was heavily bandaged, and I thought I could faintly smell her sweet blood. Cautiously, I walked up next to her.

"Hey," I said softly.

Alice jumped. "Oh, hey." Her voice was not warm.

"I'm sorry…About Friday…"

Alice barked a laugh. "What for? You're right."

"About what?"

"You asked me if I was happy…I suppose I _should _be happy…I mean, I have a great dad who only interferes when it's absolutely necessary. I have a great boyfriend and a pretty nice lifestyle…There's nothing for me to be depressed about…But, I don't know…I feel like something's missing…"

"Alice, I'm really sorry…I want to be your friend, not a burden…"

"Bella, there's something in me telling me to stay far away from you. I'm trying to listen to it…But…But I just can't…I feel compelled to you…Like I _need_ to be with you."

I was speechless. Alice stared at me for a few seconds, expecting me to say something after her confession. I snapped out of my trance.

"Please, I want to try again. My name is Bella," I said as I stuck out my hand.

She took my hand. "And I'm Alice…Let's be friends."

* * *

**O.o**

**Heheh…Did it stink?? Did it?! You gotta tell me in the REVIEWS! Ha ha lol…I'M BACK!**

**Anyways, my cousin is having a baby, and she said I could name it…And I don't know what to name him/her…So, in your REVIEW, could you please leave me two girl names and two boy names? The winners will be announced next chapter….So, REVIEW!!!**

**Ha ha lmao, I love you guys!**

**Melissa ****♥♥**


	14. Author's note 2

**Heyy! Yeah, sorry…It's another A/N…but I don't want to continue Memory without asking you this…Should I write a chapter talking about how they get along and stuff? Or should I skip to May…? Because when Bella and Alice started over, it was late October…I could highlight November, December, January, February, March and April in one chapter…I'm just not sure what to do, and I need your opinion…and also, I have the winners of the baby names! Here goes!!!**

**Boy Name Winner **

Edwardsgirl14 for the name CHASE!

**Congratulations, Edwardsgirl14! Hmm…am I missing something? OH YEAH! I'm missing the winners for the girls name….I don't have a winner…None of the girl names have caught my attention yet…I'm looking for something classic and elegant…but I can't seem to find a name that fits that definition…No crazy names like Air or something…But thanks for helping!**

**Remember, leave if I should talk about the friendship, or skip to May…and leave girl names for me! Leave as many as yu like…ha ha!**


	15. As the months go by

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**A/N: Ok, this is how I'm going to do it…I'm going to cut the months up into sections…Like one section will be about December and so on and so forth. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

**Chapter 12  
APOV**

**October-Halloween**

Bella flopped down on her big bed and sighed. Her red lips pouted as she spread her fingers across the bedspread.

"Halloween's coming," She said.

I was lying down next to her, flipping through one of the many Vogue magazines Alice had. Booming laughter and shrieks of surprise echoed from downstairs.

"I'm going to get you!" I heard Gerard shout.

"I'd like to see you try, Little Buddy!" Emmett cried back.

Quickly, I peeped out the window and saw Gerard running around Bella's spacious backyard with a water gun in his hand. He was sopping wet and Emmett was wet, too. Esme was standing in a corner wringing out her hair all the while shouting, "Isn't a little too chilly for water gun fights?"

Edward and Carlisle were chatting amiably. Rosalie and Alice were looking through Macy's catalogs.

"Halloween's coming," Bella repeated.

I crawled back next to her. "Yes, I know."

"What should we be?"

"Really?" I asked incredulously. "You still dress up?"

"Why not?"

"No…It's just that Gerard and I don't."

"Oh well, you can start now…What do you think I should be? An angel or a Puss Cat Doll?" Bella leaped off the bed and started singing "Beep".

I clapped my hands over my ears. "Stop!! Stop!"

Bella ignored me and continued to prance around the room. She ripped her shirt off and began crawling around the room. All she had on underneath the shirt was a simple black bra. I backed up, horrified. Bella saw my face and fell to the floor, laughing.

"Get me a shirt, will you?" She asked as she gripped her sides.

I got off the bed and opened her closet. What I saw nearly made me pee myself.

Lingerie was hanging from the closet. Not the lingerie like pretty bras. Real lingerie. Lingerie like the one you see in those romance movies when that pretty girl seduces the man she thinks she loves. Corsets, handcuffs, and some other…stuff…were in a corner.

A flash of white and brown came up from my side, and a white hand shut the door closed. My eyes focused and I saw that Bella had pressed herself up against that….closet. I took a step back.

"Sorry you had to see that…" Bella trailed off.

"Are those things yours and Edward's?" I choked.

Bella's eyes fell to the floor, but not before I saw the answer in her eyes.

I clapped my hands together. "Alrighty, then. Let's get back to Halloween."

**November**  
**BPOV**

I watched from a distance as Alice gave Gerard a goodbye kiss. She was bundled up in jeans, and a gray sweater. Alice's closet certainly needed some kind of color in it. It also needed some style. Alice was very drab.

I leaned into Edward's side and sighed while Edward rubbed my back. Alice and Jasper weren't in today because they needed to hunt. Emmett and Rosalie skipped school for their own reasons. I was tempted to skip with Edward as well, but the promise of seeing Alice made me come. I watched Gerard and Alice with displeased eyes. They could surely stop kissing now. I tapped my foot impatiently.

Edward, sensing my distress, kissed the top of my head. "Let her be," He whispered in my hair. He chuckled suddenly. "Look at the height difference between them."

I looked and indeed, the height difference was appalling. Alice was just 5"2, but Gerard was a gangly 6"3. Alice was standing on her tip toes and Gerard had to bend down quite a bit just to get to her lips.

"She's so small…I don't know why she's so short. I wasn't _that_ short when I was a junior. And she certainly didn't get her height from…" I trailed off, not wanting to say his name. Edward stiffened.

Alice finally broke apart from Gerard. He stole one last kiss from her and then loped off for class. Alice looked around the parking lot. When she found me, she smiled and her little angel's face lit up.

When I compared pictures from when I was a human junior and Alice, I noticed that my face was more elfin while she was more angelic. Her face was rounder and her lips were fuller.

I moved forward to greet her and we embraced. I hardly noticed Alice's scent anymore. We walked toward the school building, Edward trailing silently behind us. Alice winced suddenly and pulled at the waistband of her jeans.

"What is it?" I demanded.

"Nothing…my jeans are just too tight. I've gained weight."

This gave me the perfect excuse. "After school, let's go shopping."

Edward grinned. "Be careful, Alice. You don't know what you're getting into." And then he winked.

**December- New Year Eve's  
APOV**

"Dad, is it okay if I spend the night at a friend's house?" I asked as I picked at my dinner.

Jacob looked up and blinked. He reminded me of a mole being shoved into the sunlight. "What?"

"You know, today's New Year's Eve…I just wanted to know if it was okay if I spent the night at a friend's."

"Ok…Just be careful…I want you home next year by 10…Okay?"

"Thanks!" I jumped up and ran off to pack all my things.

When I arrived at the Cullen house, I was rendered speechless. It looked fantastic. A thick coating of snow covered the ground. Blue, gold, and silver lights were hung around the house. Really, it looked like a scene from a fairytale. Bella ran out of the house, Edward in tow. She threw her arms around me.

"Come in! Esme's made cookies and cocoa," Edward said blandly.

I frowned a little bit. Edward didn't like me. I knew it.

"Well, come on!" Edward said warmly. He took my hand and tugged gently. It was almost as if he heard my thoughts. He was certainly being nice. Edward smiled crookedly. Boy was he good looking.

New Year's Eve at the Cullens house was so wild. There was a lot of music and dancing….well, more like grinding. And Emmett invited Gerard to come over, too. That made it extra fun. When it was 11:50, Bella and I went up to her room. I quickly averted my eyes from the closet that held all of Bella's "goodies".

"Oh gosh, this top is so uncomfortable," Bella said as she fidgeted. She took it off and walked over to her clothes closet to get another shirt. She threw her old one on the floor.

I bent down to pick it up. The fabric was soft and bright. I held it to my body.

"Why don't you try it on?" Bella said. She was still in her bra. She popped a disc into her CD player.

I ripped my shirt off and instantly regretted it. My body was pitiful compared to Bella's. Then, the music came on.

I recognized it instantly. It was "Five Minutes to Midnight" by Boys Like Girls. Bella was singing softly to it. I knew that she thought that I didn't know the song. So, I started to sing along with her.

_Brown eyes and lungs are filled up with smoke  
Fast lives are stuck in the undertow  
But you know the places I wanna go  
Cause oh oh oh  
I've got a sickness, you've got the cure  
You've got the spunk I've been lookin' for  
And I've got a plan, we walk out the door_

_You know you wanna  
Just let go  
It's time to roll down the windows  
Sing it oh oh  
Yeah all we need so here we go_

_Turn it up  
It's five minutes to midnight  
You're coming home with me tonight  
I can't get enough  
Shakin' me up  
Turn it up  
Alright, at five minutes to midnight_

Surprised, Bella started to dance wildly. I joined her and we danced…in our underwear.

_We'll make the clock stop  
Make your heart drop and come alive_

_We could  
Pack up and leave all our things behind  
No fact or fiction or storyline  
Cause I need you more than just for tonight  
You're oh oh all I care  
I can't stop my breathing in  
I'm weak and you were my medicine  
I won't stop till I am under your skin_

_You know you wanna  
Just let go  
It's time to roll down the windows  
Sing it oh oh  
Yeah all we need so here we go_

_Turn it up  
It's five minutes to midnight  
You're coming home with me tonight  
I can't get enough  
Shakin' me up  
Turn it up  
Alright, at five minutes to midnight  
You see our name in city lights  
We'll make the clock stop  
Make your heart drop and come alive_

_And when the clock strikes twelve  
Will you find another party go and kiss and tell?  
Cause you know I never will  
I think we should strike a match  
We'll hold it to the wind to and see how long it lasts  
We can make the time stand still_

_Turn it up  
It's five minutes to midnight  
You're coming home with me tonight  
I can't get enough  
Shakin' me up  
Turn it up  
Alright, at five minutes to midnight  
You see our name in city lights  
We'll make the clock stop  
Make your heart drop and come alive_

_Turn it up  
It's five minutes to midnight  
You're coming home with me tonight  
I can't get enough  
Shakin' me up  
Turn it up  
Alright, at five minutes to midnight  
You see our name in city lights  
We'll make the clock stop  
Make your heart drop and come alive  
You see our name in city lights  
_

The song ended and we looked at each other. This was the most fun I had ever had with Bella. We started laughing when the door opened.

Edward and Gerard stared openmouthed at us. Gerard had his eyes on me and Edward's eyes were on Bella. We all stood there in shocked silence. Bella grabbed a pillow.

"Edward! You perv! Leave!" Bella squealed as she threw the pillow at him. Edward caught it easily, winked at Bella, and then left with Gerard without a word. Bella checked the clock. "Well, it's five minutes to midnight. Get dressed and we'll go downstairs."

We put our shirts back on and sprinted down the stairs. Everyone was huddled around the big screen TV. Everyone except Rosalie, that is. I pushed in near Gerard and he wrapped an arm around my waist. Slowly, we began the countdown.

_5, 4, 3, 2, 1…_

And then just as the Cullens and Hales let out a huge scream and threw confetti around, Gerard kissed me.

* * *

**Sorry! I could only do three months because I ran out of ideas! But January, February, March, and April, they just hang out and have laughs…It would get boring if I just wrote about that. So, leave girl baby names in the reviews…None of the names have caught my attention…Sorry! I'm probably being really picky and annoying…But I ****PROMISE ****that I'll have the winners up next week.**

**HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!**


	16. Keep Her Warm

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…**

**Chapter 13**

**APOV**

_And oh my dear Allison  
You're running in platform shoes  
And you love me when I wear my  
Evening blues  
And its love dear Allison  
You're kissing with such great ease  
And my lips aren't hard to please_

**-Allison**

**Permanent Me**

In a way, Bella was my Jesus. She brought light into my otherwise dark world. She showed me love and sympathy. Her smile always made something in my heart flutter, and I felt compelled to tell her everything about my life. I told her everything from my first word to my first kiss. And she listened. She listened without judging me and she only spoke her mind until after I was done. She always helped me, but never did the task for me. She always gave me a chance to prove myself. She was simple and sweet and my best friend. I loved her.

The cold winter months passed, and so did the need to cut myself. Bella was the one who helped me through it. She showed me that there really was no reason for me to cut myself about…And it was easy…Gerard on the other hand, was extremely difficult to persuade. He insisted that it made him feel better and that it wasn't so easy to stop because he went through a lot more than I did. His parents are dead and his uncle spent all his inheritance money…It's hard to argue with that. But Emmett was working on it. Emmett and Gerard were friends and Gerard would listen to Emmett, we were sure of it.

I woke up with a feeling of confidence. Almost as if I could do anything. I lay in my bed for a few moments staring up at the light pink ceiling. Jacob had spent an entire week painting my room when I was little, and I don't think I thanked him for it. I got out of bed and stared at the gloomy and angry sky. A few fat raindrops hit my window, making a _splat_. God was crying.

From happiness? Or was he crying from sorrow because the people of Earth were committing sins?

A roll of thunder sounded and I gave a little squeak. I ran across to the bathroom and brushed my teeth furiously. Bella's shining white teeth intimidated me and I found myself brushing harder so my teeth could be like Bella's. I skipped back into my room and opened the closet. I shook my head at the mass of clothing in my closet. Bella and Alice insisted on buying me clothes. I resisted. They bought the clothes anyway, and then when there was a random and insignificant holiday coming up (like Weed Day) they would give me the clothes. When there wasn't a holiday, the two made one up.

I took out jeans and a black and white top. Once I was dressed, I reached over for a special cream Bella had given me for National Health Day. Whatever that was. The cream was supposed to get rid of scars. I applied it to my wrists; the scars there were hardly noticeable anymore. I skipped down the stairs to get some breakfast.

When I walked into the kitchen, Jacob was at the stove, trying to fry eggs, butter toast, and talk on the phone at the same time.

"No!" Jacob shouted into the phone. "Are you kidding me? I have to leave the country to get promoted?"

There was a pause.

"Where in Asia?" Jacob demanded.

Another pause.

"I'll go to London, I'll go to France, but I will _never_ go to Japan." Jacob's face had gone red and he wasn't paying attention to the food anymore.

The person on the other line said something. Jacob slammed down the phone. He was trembling slightly and he looked pissed off. It scared me. I cowered in Jacob's shadow. Jacob's eyes focused and he noticed me, trembling in fear. Instantly, his face softened.

"Sorry," He said sheepishly.

I smiled at him and he smiled back. Jacob went back to frying the eggs while I buttered the toast.

After we had eaten, Jacob ran upstairs to get ready for work. I said my goodbyes and went off to school. By the time I got into the parking lot, almost every parking space was filled. I drove around the school hoping to find a spot big enough for my truck. Toward the back parking lot, I saw Gerard leaning against his truck. Beside him was an empty parking spot. I parked and got out of the car. Gerard smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. We pulled away and I playfully slapped his arm.

"You didn't come to see me last night," I pouted.

"Sorry Alice. I wasn't feeling good last night…But I feel better now…I'll come over tonight, I promise."

Nowadays, Gerard didn't sneak up to meet me every night. The bell rang and I reached up to kiss Gerard before we both left for class. I saw Alice and Jasper in the hallway and I waved cheerfully. During class, I spoke my opinions and took notes. That feeling of confidence had not worn off yet.

The lunch bell rang. I met Gerard in the cafeteria. Bella and Edward weren't in the cafeteria yet, and I wanted to spend some time with Gerard. Gerard and I snagged a table all to ourselves. Gerard pushed the sleeves of his shirt up.

"You've been using the cream I gave you," I said knowingly.

Gerard's scars were hardly noticeable anymore. He smiled at me and bit into his bagel. I reached over and poked his arm. His arm was muscular. I kept on poking it.

"When did you get so bulky?" I asked.

Gerard smiled at me. "I've been working out, Ally."

I made a face and bit into my sandwich. We chewed in silence; I was watching Gerard's face all the while.

Gerard has longish hair that flopped down into his eyes. His hair looked black, but if you looked closely, you could see strands of red, brown, and black hair. His eyes also seemed to look black, but there were flecks of gold and green. He was pale, but he had gotten a little darker.

The bell rang and we got up to throw our trash away.

"I have gym next," I said glumly.

Gerard laughed. Emmett came running into Gerard.

"Hey, Little Buddy! We have Biology next! I heard that we're dissecting frogs!" Emmett announced.

They went to class and I waited for Alice to walk with me to gym. The hallway was empty and silent. I stared at the barren walls, my mind wandering.

"Alice? Do you know why Bella hates Gerard so much?" I asked softly.

Alice smiled. "She doesn't hate him…She just thinks he's not the one for you."

"Is Edward the one for her?"

"Yeah…They're so in love, it's sick."

"How does she know that he's the one?"

"I don't know…You just know."

"What about Jasper? Is he the one for you?"

"He's perfect."

"Then how is Bella so sure that Gerard isn't the one for me?"

Alice raised an eyebrow. "So you're saying that he _is _the one for you?"

"No! Well, I don't know…Sometimes…Sometimes I just…" I stopped. I didn't know how to explain.

"Don't worry…You'll know if he's right for you sooner or later."

We entered the gym, and I braced myself for an hour of pure hell.

School ended, and I went outside to meet up with Bella so I could say goodbye to her. I wanted desperately to go somewhere with her, but I had a lot of homework to do.

Bella bounded down the stairs, he brown hair was everywhere. She hugged me carefully.

"I didn't get to talk to you all day! How was everything?" Bella asked when she pulled away. Her gold eyes were bright. Sometimes Bella reminded me of a mom who was trying to hard to be involved with her kid.

"My day was fine…Just boring," I laughed.

"Do you want to skating or something?"

"Oh my gosh, that sounds so much fun. But I've got a lot of homework that needs to be done…My teachers will shoot me if I don't have it all done."

Bella sighed. "Okay…just get all your homework done…I really want to do something fun."

We hugged again and she bounded down into Edward's arms. He kissed her and swung her around a little bit. They walked away hand in hand and I was puzzled. Why did Bella hate Gerard so much? And why did she hate it when Gerard and I hugged and kissed? Yet there she goes parading around with Edward, always laughing, kissing, and Edward's hands were always all over her.

I scowled at their backs. _Hypocrite_ I thought. And then, almost as if Edward heard my thoughts, he released Bella's hand. Instantly, I regretted my thought. Bella was my best friend and I loved her dearly. She was something more than a best friend, though. I told her all my secrets, all my fears. I told her about my childhood and how I didn't have a lot of friends. I told her how I started to cut myself and how important she was to me.

I jogged over to my truck and saw that Gerard had left a note on my windshield. I squinted as I read his messy scrawl.

_Alice,_

_Sorry for leaving like this, but something happened at work. Some person is throwing a party, and I'll get paid overtime if I went. Don't worry, I'll come over tonight but I might be a little late._

_Gerard_

I smiled and tucked the note in my hip pocket. I got into my truck and drove home. It started to drizzle and by the time I got home, it was pouring. I wondered how Gerard would make it to my room in this weather. I stumbled into the kitchen. Taped to the fridge was a note from Jacob. It said that he went out to get some bread.

I wasn't feeling hungry just yet so I just went upstairs to take a shower. When I got out, Jacob was downstairs making sandwiches._ Now I was hungry. _

I grabbed one and went upstairs. I finished it on the stairs. I came back down and grabbed another one…off Jacob's plate. I ate it in two big bites and I grabbed another sandwich. Jacob watched me with amused eyes.

"Someone's hungry," He noted.

I nodded and went to the fridge for some soda. I chugged the can of Pepsi and continued to eat.

"Sit down while you eat, Alice," Jacob demanded.

I sat down. Jacob looked at me for a few seconds. I set the sandwich down and stared back. He folded his brown hands together.

"Well, Alice…I guess you know what I do…I sell things, and sometimes in order to, I have to places."

I cocked my head to the side.

"Remember when you were little? And Aunt Rebecca or Aunt Rachael would come and spend a few days while I went away?" He prodded.

"Yes."

"I was asked to go to Japan and persuade a business president to join forces with us."

"Are you going to go?"

"I'm not too sure…But I'll talk to you about it."

"Okay," I said in an even voice. Jacob wanted to go…It was only because of me that he didn't.

"Don't look at me like that," He commanded.

"What way?"

"You, you just pinch your eyebrows together and your eyes become accusing and puppy like at the same time. Your mother gave me that look all the time and I don't need it from you…" Jacob's voice trailed off.

My eyes stung and my chin wobbled. And then, I started to sob. The hot tears streamed down my face and wet my shirt. The tears wouldn't stop falling.

It's funny that my mother's been gone for 16 years now, but this was the hardest I cried about her.

I hugged myself; I wanted the tears to stop.

"Alice?" Jacob asked worriedly.

I squeezed my midsection even harder, but that just hurt and made me cry even more. Suddenly, my feet left the ground and two warm hands were cradling me like a baby. Jacob carried me into the living room and set me gently on the couch; I felt it shift when he sat next to me. He rubbed my back.

"It's okay, it's okay," He chanted. I cried for a long time.

---x-----X-----x---

A single tear escaped from the corner of my eye. It slid down my cheek silently. Jacob wiped it away.

"You remind me so much about your mother," He said it so softly, I wasn't sure that I heard it right.

"Daddy?" I sighed. It had been so long since I used that term. The word "Daddy" sounded so sweet and young on my tongue. "How was Mom like?"

Jacob took a deep breath. He looked me in the face, his eyes told me a story of pain and betrayal…But I didn't understand the story behind the pain. So, I listened to the words.

"Your mom was the best thing in the world. She was quiet and sweet and forgiving. She cherished love so much. If she loved someone, and they left, she would never ever be the same again." Something dark flashed through Jacob's eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

"Did you love her?"

There was a loud silence. I was afraid that I asked the wrong question.

"Yes, I love your mother. I love her with my whole damn heart. I'll die for her, I love her that much," Jacob's voice became inaudible. "But she didn't love me. No, she never loved me the same way I love her. Her heart was elsewhere." Jacob laughed bitterly. His voice got quiet again. "When your mother got pregnant, it was probably the happiest and scariest time of my life. Being a father wasn't why I was so happy. I was 19 and the thought of a kid scared me to death. No, I was so happy because I thought this would be forever. I thought it would be a happily forever after ending after that. I was wrong…Your mother's heart keeper showed up…"

"And she left?" I probed. I was fascinated. I imagined myself in the eyes of my father, only 19 at the time, madly in love with a girl who didn't love him the same way.

"No. I let her go…I let her go!" Jacob shouted the last sentence and banged his fist against his thigh. His eyes were wild and a thousand miles away.

Slowly, I got up. I kissed my father on the cheek and slowly walked up into my bedroom. I shut the door and burst into tears again.

Jacob, my father, was such a good person. He _let_ my mother go. She wanted to go, but she could have stayed. Jacob could have gotten her to stay. But she wouldn't have been happy…So he let her go.

_He let her leave._

These words impacted me greatly. How different would my life be if he made her stay? Would I wake up to the smell of pancakes instead of burned toast? Would Gerard still be my boyfriend? Would the faint scars on my wrists ever exist?

Probably not. I stumbled out of my bedroom and into the bathroom. I washed my face and hands. I heard Jacob pound up the stairs and into his bedroom.

I crept back into my bedroom. It was only 9:30. Sighing. I cracked open a Jane Austen book and started to read.

Everything was dark. I heard a baby's laughter. A man's voice. A woman's voice. The baby stopped laughing and began to cry. The sound was grating. A chilling tune that cut deep through my heart. The cries subsided and slowly the baby's voice became different; the voice of a little girl's, the voice of an awkward not yet teen-but not a child, and finally the strong and haunting voice of a young woman. It grew lighter until I could see the faint outline of everyone. The young woman stepped forward and was greeted by another young woman with the same figure.

"Are you going to leave me?" The first woman said.

The second woman shook her head yes. The young woman let out a cry that cut me. The second woman vanished. A man appeared.

"And you? Are you going to leave me, too?" The woman asked the man.

The man reached up to touch her face, but he vanished. The young woman was on her knees now, sobbing into her hands. Another man appeared. He was shorter and smaller than the first man. He knelt in front of the woman.

"And you? Gerard, will you stay with me? Please…Please don't leave me." She pleaded.

Gerard? What was this?

The woman reached out and grabbed the man's leg. He vanished, leaving the young woman grasping air. The woman collapsed to the ground, her body heaving. Suddenly, she looked up. It suddenly became light. I could see everything. The woman stared me in the eye. And then I knew. She was _me._

"NO!" I screamed.

Something damp and soft clamped against my mouth, strangling my cry.

"No…No…Shh…Alice…Shh…I'm here…Don't cry," A soothing voice whispered.

I opened my eyes to find Gerard looking at me, concern written all over his face. I threw myself at him.

"Don't leave me," I begged.

Gerard's strong arms wrapped around me and my feet left the ground. Gerard carried me across from the room and lay me down on the bed. He lay down next to me. He took my hands in is.

"I won't leave you, I promise," He swore.

"How can I know?" I asked.

"You don't…That's what's love is all about…Trust…Trust me when I say that I'll never leave you."

I smiled weakly and Gerard grinned back. He kissed me. This time, the kiss wasn't lusty or sweet. It was a kiss that told me nothing and everything at the same time.

"You're so cold," He whispered.

"Then keep me warm."

**Oh, gosh…I was in tears when I wrote the dream scene...Anyone feeling that this story is going a bit slow? Last slow chapter, I promise. The next chapters will be better.**

**And for those who didn't get the ending, Gerard and Alice get it on…In other words, they sleep together. **

**Hey people! Scroll back up to Jacob and Alice's conversation about Bella…Look at the verb tense when Jacob's talking…(hint, hint)**

**So anyways, here are the winners for the baby names!**

**Username:****Name:**

coolcatt002 Elizabeth (Beth for short) lizzimcclure


	17. Actions of a Mother

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**  
**A/N: I love the reviews and I love the support I'm getting!**  
**Chapter 14****  
APOV**

_All I can taste is champagne  
When it hits the brain like cocaine  
Spinning around and around  
I can't up without your help  
I'm falling down_

**-Champagne**

**By Sugarcult**

When I woke up, I was incredibly warm. I was curled up into a ball against Gerard's bare chest. His arms were wound tightly around me, locking me into place. His breathing was slow and easy. I buried my head into his chest and smelled his fading man's cologne. He sighed, and his chest heaved a bit. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to leave this moment. I was almost asleep; almost drifting into a place I never wanted to leave.

A cheerful whistle cut through my sleep world like a knife.

_Jacob. _

I lifted my head from Gerard's chest and glanced at my clock. It was 6:00. Gerard was supposed to be gone by now. I looked away from the clock and into Gerard's face. He looked so young, so vulnerable. I couldn't send him away.

Gerard let out a low moan. Jacob's heavy footsteps stopped at my door. I clamped my hand over Gerard's mouth and waited. The seconds ticked by, and I made up excuses as to why there was a naked boy asleep in my bed. Jacob passed my room and I let out a small sigh of relief. I buried my head once again in Gerard's chest and waited for sleep to come back to me.

When I woke up again, the house was silent and my room was starting to get bright. I shifted a little bit and Gerard's arm tightened around me. Surprised, I lifted my head from Gerard's chest and came face to face with him. He chuckled at my dazed look. He kissed my hair and I almost died. Something was there, inside my chest, something that was good.

"I love you," I mumbled into Gerard's neck.

There was no hesitation when he answered back. "I love you, too."

I stretched my legs out. I felt my bare skin chafe against the bed sheets.

"Did we really…?" I yawned lazily.

"Yeah…we really did it," Gerard grinned at me.

I closed my eyes trying to remember last night. How could one sum up their first time? Sex was like champagne, sweet on your tongue and intoxicating. Then again, no one can compare sex with champagne…or anything for that matter.

Something awful hit me just then.

"Gerard, did we use a condom?" I asked nervously.

Now Gerard looked nervous. "No." His voice was shaky.

"Oh God, no. We had to have used a condom…" I trailed off. "Don't guys walk around with condoms in their pockets?"

"Not all of them."

"Shit!" I jumped out of bed. I grabbed Gerard's clothes from off the floor and started throwing them at him.

He caught them without a word and started to pull them on. His face was somber.

"Bye Alice," He said once he was fully dressed.

He stepped out of my room and I heard him stomp down the stairs. I waited one full minute before realizing what I had done.

I ran downstairs and out the door. Gerard was walking up the sidewalk toward his car. I ran out to the driveway.

"Gerard!" I called.

Gerard stopped and turned around. His expression was shocked and he sprinted back to me, taking his jacket off in the process. I looked down and a warm blush crept up my neck. _I was naked._

Gerard reached me and put the jacket on me. I ran inside the house, Gerard right behind me. I sank down into one of the couches.

"Holy crap, what was I thinking?" I wondered.

Gerard was standing in front of me, looking awkward.

"I'll…uhh…get you some clothes." He ran up the stairs and into my bedroom.

He returned a few seconds later with panties, a push up bra Bella had bought me, shorts, and a tank top. He looked so silly with the panties in his hand that I just had to laugh. Gerard cocked his head to the side. I laughed even harder. Still laughing, I stumbled towards him and hugged him around the waist. Gerard waited a second before hugging me back.

"Now I _really_ love you," I said.

Gerard kissed the top of my head. We pulled away.

"Well, I'll go take a shower…You should take one, too," I offered.

When I came out of the shower, Gerard was sitting at the kitchen table drinking some orange juice.

"I have an idea," He said when I walked in.

"I'm listening."

"Why don't we go to my place…We could be alone," Gerard offered hopefully.

"Why not?" I smiled at him. "We have to go to the drugstore first," I added gravely.

"We do?"

"We can't forget the condoms."

Gerard smiled.

**BPOV**

_You're better off without him, don't call him...  
He's breaking your heart.  
He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there,  
It's tearing you apart._

**-Your Boyfriend Sucks  
The Ataris**

I pushed my hair back from my face and punched in the digits again. I listened to it ring and ring and ring.

"I'm sorry. The person that you are calling is not available at the time. Please call again later. Goodbye," said the automatic answering machine voice.

"Damn!" I shouted as I slammed the receiver down. "Where the hell is she?" I swore.

"Calm down, Bella. She's 17. Give her some freedom," Edward said from across the room.

"That's easy for you to say…She's not _your_ kid," I snapped.

Edward winced. I went to the bed and rested my head on his stomach. I felt his stomach rise and fall. "I'm sorry, Edward…It's just that we had plans."

"Let her live a little. Call her back in a few hours or so," Edward said as he sat up. He wrapped his arms around me. "She's only this young once."

I leaned into him. "Yeah, I guess so," I grumbled.

---x------X-----x---

The next few hours were horrible. I couldn't get my mind off Alice. Even Jasper couldn't calm me down. Alice tried to make me try on some clothes, but I refused. Esme wanted me to help her make a cake. I said no. Emmett wanted to play football. I chucked the ball at his head. Rosalie told me to shut the hell up. Jasper asked me if I wanted to play Super Smash Bros. I said no…again. I fumed around the house, watered the plants, scrubbed the tubs, read some magazines, and spent time with Edward.

Finally, I could call Alice. I punched in her cell phone number. It rang a few times and then went straight to voicemail. I called her again. It went to voicemail again. I called her three more times. Finally, on the last ring, Alice picked up.

"Hullo?" She said.

" Alice?" I asked, puzzled. She sounded different.

There was a bubbly noise and a laugh of a young man. Glasses clinked.

" Alice?" I repeated. "Where are you?"

"With Gerrrarrrd," Alice replied. She was slurring.

I gripped the receiver tightly. "Are you drunk? What are you doing?"

"Watcha' mean?"

"Oh my gosh… Alice where are you?!" I demanded.

"With Gerrrarrrd," Alice repeated.

" Alice…Hang up the phone," Gerard commanded in the background.

There was a soft click.

" Alice?!" I yelled. " Alice?!?"

There was no answer. I hung up. Edward was at my side. He took my hands in his.

"Are you okay?" He asked his face inches away from mine.

"NO!" I screamed. Edward was surprised. "In the words of My Chemical Romance, I am not O-fucking-kay!"

Edward blinked at me. And then I started to dry sob. I threw myself into Edward's arms.

"Gerard…he's drunk and Alice is drunk and I just hate him so much!" I blubbered.

When I was done crying, I got up and left to go to sit by myself so I could think.

Gerard was a threat to Alice. He was just using her. He really didn't like her at all…She was just his toy. I needed to save Alice, and the only way to do that was to get rid of Gerard Reynolds.

* * *

**OMG! (GASP) What is going on?! Short, I know…but this chapter has reason to it…(smile)…so anyways, tell me what you thought about it.**

**Hmm…last chapter someone said in a review that the chapter was confusing…Another person told me the dream scene was confusing…Let me show you what it was about:**

* * *

Everything was dark. I heard a baby's laughter. A man's voice. A woman's voice. The baby stopped laughing and began to cry. The sound was grating. A chilling tune that cut deep through my heart. The cries subsided and slowly the baby's voice became different; the voice of a little girl's, the voice of an awkward not yet teen-but not a child, and finally the strong and haunting voice of a young woman. It grew lighter until I could see the faint outline of everyone. The young woman stepped forward and was greeted by another young woman** (Bella but best friend Bella, not mother Bella)** with the same figure. 

"Are you going to leave me?" The first woman said.

The second woman shook her head yes. The young woman let out a cry that cut me. The second woman vanished. A man appeared. **(Jacob) **

"And you? Are you going to leave me, too?" The woman asked the man.

The man reached up to touch her face, but he vanished. The young woman was on her knees now, sobbing into her hands. Another man appeared. **(Gerard)** He was shorter and smaller than the first man. He knelt in front of the woman.

"And you? Gerard, will you stay with me? Please…Please don't leave me." She pleaded.

Gerard? What was this?

The woman reached out and grabbed the man's leg. He vanished, leaving the young woman grasping air. The woman collapsed to the ground, her body heaving. Suddenly, she looked up. It suddenly became light. I could see everything. The woman stared me in the eye. And then I knew. She was _me. _

* * *

**You see, Alice had this dream because what Jacob told her about her mom scared her silly. Because her mother was so willing to leave her, Alice was under the fear that everyone else she loved would leave her, too.****Thank you for reading!...and reviewing…HEHEH…****Melissa ****♥****♥**


	18. Sold

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**AN: It is late May in this chapter. Its three days before graduation.**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**Gerard's POV**

_Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark  
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms  
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?  
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone_

**-You Are the Moon**

**The Hush Sound**

A new beauty was emitting from Alice.

She was always beautiful, but something about her was changing. Whenever I saw her, she seemed to be glowing. Everything about her was angelic; her voice, her hair, her smile.

Alice shifted in her sleep and she sighed contentedly. I tightened my arms around her. I stared at her face, so peaceful in sleep. Her ivory skin was smooth and flawless. Her pink heart shaped mouth was curved up at the corners in a secretive smile.

I brushed my lips against her forehead. My heart throbbed in my chest, singing its love.

Alice. My Alice. She was mine to hold, mine to love. I couldn't and wouldn't imagine my life without Alice Black. Alice was my life. Without her, there was no reason to live.

Alice's eyes opened lazily. She blinked and her doe brown eyes stared into mine.

"Good morning," I whispered.

"Hey," She replied. "Where's Jacob?"

"Your dad left already," I paused. "You should let me meet him."

"No, he would bite your head off. What time is it?"

"I think it's nine."

Alice got out of bed and stretched, her pale skin looking translucent in the sun. She rummaged through her dresser for clothes. I propped myself up on her bed and watched her.

"Why won't you let me meet your dad?" I asked.

"Like I said, he would bite your head off…He's not too fond of the male population around me."

I snorted. "He seems pretty nice to you."

"I never said he was _mean. _He's simply protective" Alice turned around, hands on her hips. "Why do you want to meet him so bad?"

"Isn't that what normal boyfriends do?"

Alice sighed. "You're not normal, Gerard. You're different and your mine."

"Okay okay…I give up."

"What are we going to do today?" Alice asked.

"I have a movie in my car…I'll go get it and we can watch."

---x------X-----x---

Halfway into the movie, the phone rang. Alice went to pick it up. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. My head was throbbing. If only I could fall asleep…

"OH MY GOSH!!!! REALLY?!?" Alice shouted into the phone. I jumped.

Someone on the other line said something. Alice was practically sobbing from happiness or sorrow, I couldn't tell which.

"Okay Daddy…Oh my gosh! I'm so happy! You'll be leaving in two weeks?"

A pause.

"Will I be alone?"

Another pause.

"Okay! I'll talk to you when you get home!"

Alice hung up and ran back to the couch. She jumped into my lap. I let out a gasp of pain and resisted the urge to curl up into a ball and cry.

"Oh whoops! Sorry, honey!" Alice didn't look sorry at all. She looked giddy.

I inched her off my lap. "What happened?"

"Jacob's going to Japan."

"What? Why?"

"Some business thing. Jacob said I have to stay home alone because none of my aunts can fly over to baby sit me."

I kissed her neck. "Perfect."

---x------X-----x---

After the movie ended, I stalled as much as I could. I fooled around with Alice before she finally told me that I had to go. She still had tears streaming down her face from our tickle fight.

"Will you come over tonight?" She asked.

"I'm not sure…I'm feeling a little sick." The throbbing of my head had come back.

She gave me a kiss and went back inside. She darted outside again and stole another kiss.

"In case I don't see you tonight." She told me.

I liked my apartment. It was small and clean and well furnished. Well, it was clean.

Since I had been spending almost all my time with Alice, I was neglecting all the chores. The air smelled, dishes were piled high in the sink, the bathroom was disgusting, the pure white walls were turning gray, and my fridge didn't have anything edible in it. I either ate at Alice's house or at work.

I shrugged out of my jacket and tossed it on the couch. I walked into the kitchen and washed a glass so I could drink water. I leaned against the cabinet and sipped it while Underoath played softly in the background.

Stupid tap water. It was a shame I couldn't afford a purifier.

The doorbell rang, but I didn't answer it. The doorbell rang again. And again and again.

"The door's open!" I finally shouted.

I heard the door open a crack. I dumped my water in the sink.

"Hello? I'm looking for a Gerard Reynolds?" A woman's voice called out.

"I paid my bills," I called back. Stupid insurance lady.

I walked into the living room and almost died.

An older of version of Alice was standing in the living room, carrying a leather briefcase, studying the dirty walls and sniffing the stale air. Old Alice smiled at me and it wasn't a nice smile. It was a smile that sent chills racing down my spine.

"I'm Isabella Swan," She said as she extended a hand. I took it. "I'm Alice's mother."

I dropped her hand. I was seething. This was the dog that had caused Alice so much sadness? "Get out."

Swan's jaw tightened. "No."

"Get out," I repeated through gritted teeth.

"Hear me out." Swan's voice was ice cold. I glared at her. "I know that you're dating Alice." She sat down on my couch and crossed her legs. "I believe that your parents are dead and you're living alone?"

"Yes."

Swan leaned forward and her flat black eyes were forceful and hating. "I have one favor to ask you, Mr. Reynolds."

"What?"

"Leave…Leave Ithaca and never come back."

"NO."

"Yes you will. Leave Ithaca, I don't want you anywhere near Alice."

I was almost crying from rage. "You have no right to call Alice your daughter! Have you seen her walk? Did you see her on her first day of school? Were you there when she needed a woman to talk to?! No! Do you know-"

Swan's eyes flashed. I had hit the chink in her armor. She composed herself. She opened the briefcase and pulled out a check. She handed it to me with a smirk. My eyes bugged out.

_$100,000._

I looked up to find Swan staring at me smugly. I thrust the check back at her. Swan seemed unsurprised about my money. She tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"I don't think that was enough for you…I suppose that this might do the trick," She handed me another check.

This one was for $200,000. I processed the situation. I could take the money. I would fly out of New York and I'll come back in a week or so to get Alice and then we'll go any damned place we want.

But what would I tell Alice? I couldn't tell her that I was leaving her for a few weeks because her "mother" showed up and gave me money.

"Mr. Reynolds…You leave Ithaca, I leave Alice alone. Tell her that you don't want to see her ever again. Tell her that you don't love her," Swan snapped.

My blood went ice cold. It was impossible.

But I'll come back. I'll come back. I'll come back…

"Fine!" I lunged for the check.

Swan smiled coldly at me and stepped toward the door. "I knew scum like you would choose money over lust." She turned back to face me. "Don't forget Mr. Reynolds, I will know when you leave. And if you come back, I will personally hunt you down."

By the way her eyes were glittering like onyx; I knew that she meant it. Then, she turned and stepped gracefully out the door.

I realized just a second too late that I had just sold Alice's heart.

* * *

**EGAD! What is this?!? What's happening?!?! Gerard! How could you do that?!?!?**

**Hmm...it seems our Gerard isn't the sensitive emo we thought he was...(cry)\**

**Once again, I updated quicker than I usually do, but only because this is probably the last chapter for at least to weeks.**

**Why?**

**I have finals, and if I dont pass the finals, I fail my grade and I reallly really need to study...SO thanks for reading and I love you guys so much!**

**♥Melissa  
**

* * *


	19. Heart of Glass

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 16**

**GPOV**

I can't look at Alice anymore. I can't bear to see that innocent face, so alive with laughter. I can't even look at her hands without remembering how many times she held me with them. And this was the way I was going to pay her back; destroying her.

For days I stayed holed up in my apartment, writing on the walls. Leaving notes for myself, leaving notes so I could see it and have a good reason to torture myself. There was no turning back.

Alice bombarded me with phone calls and emails, offering to come over with some soup or medicine. And each time I refused, saying that I was contagious and that I didn't want her to get sick. But it was too late. Alice was already poisoned by me, her heart forever stained by me.

**APOV**

The sun wouldn't rise. It was dark. It was gloomy. It was my last day of school. I pulled on my sweatpants, my heart hoping that Gerard would be there to drive me to school. But I knew that he wouldn't be there. He was always sick.

When I stepped into school, everyone was happy, everyone was laughing, and everyone was cheering. My heart lifted; I couldn't help it. I wasn't going to be trapped by these dull gray walls anymore. I wouldn't have to listen to the teachers drone on in their boring voices. Now it would be only Gerard and me lying in the sun, holding each other and whispering stories.

I went to my classes. Everything was wild. My heart throbbed as I gave my favorite teachers hugs. Would I see them next year?

Frosted cupcakes were in every classroom. Soda and some sneaked in vodka were in little bottles. I ate cupcakes until my head hurt and soda until I could feel the bubbles rise in my stomach.

Edward and I sat on the desks in Biology, watching the rest of the class act like monkeys. Edward sighed and twirled a lock of my hair around his fingers.

"I'll kind of miss these little monkeys," Edward confided.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around me torso. "I'll miss them, too. I've become used to their wackiness."

Someone put music on. The first song was some R&B song. It didn't interest me in the slightest. The next song was "You are the Moon" by The Hush Sound. The song was sweet and sad and perfect for dancing. If Gerard were here, he would have swept me into his arms and danced with me. I closed my eyes, imagining how Gerard would smile as I stepped on his feet. Edward put a cold hand over mine.

"Care to dance?" He asked seriously.

I smiled at him and he took that as a yes. He carefully lifted me off the desk and started to dance with me. What a gentleman he was. He moved with perfect grace and his eyes twinkled at me when I looked down at our feet.

The song ended and Edward bowed to me. I giggled and did a mock curtsy. He smiled at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but the bell rang. School was officially over. I heard cheers erupt from the down the hallway. I cheered along with them and after a few moments, Edward joined as well. I slipped out of the classroom to gather my books from my locker. A note fell out.

_Meet me at our place._

_Gerard_

**GPOV**

With shaky fingers I slipped the note into Alice's locker. She was hurt by my anti social behavior, I could tell. And now I was going to hurt her more. She would follow the note, her heart would lift, and then it would come crashing to the floor. And I would be the one who would make it happen.

The note said to meet me at our place; the place where I fell in love with her.

I loped off to our place. It was a little clearing in the woods, not far from the school. I sat down on a damp and mossy log and buried my face in my hands. I could feel the tears seep through the cracks in my fingers. Despair clutched at my heart. What was I doing? Maybe I shouldn't I do this…

"Having second thoughts, Mr. Reynolds?" A voice asked.

I jumped up and around to face Swan. "How did you know that I would be here?" I stuttered. My heart thumped madly; Swan had startled me.

"You're forgetting that I know everything."

I turned away from her. "You're just here to watch me break your daughter's heart."

"Please. I'm not breaking her heart. I'm showing her a new life."

"I don't want the money anymore. Take it back."

"Sorry, I have a no return policy."

I didn't answer her. God, I hate her so much.

"Well, I suppose I should be going now. I can tell that you want to tell Alice that you don't love her in private. But don't forget, I will know everything you tell her."

Swan walked away gracefully, leaving a cloud of her perfume around my head.

**APOV**

I stumbled my way through the thick forest, my heart rising with every step I took. It had gotten chillier and gloomier, but I didn't care. I was going to see Gerard. I was going to see him.

I tripped over a root and fell. I pushed myself up and continued to run to our place. Dirt and twigs were matted in my hair. The woods got thicker and wilder with every step I took. I pushed aside some ferns and entered our place.

Gerard stood at one end of the clearing, arms crossed over his chest. Even from here I could see that he did look sick.

"Gerard," I whispered. I ran to him and threw my arms around him. Gerard didn't hug me at first, but then his arms wound tightly against me. I kissed his neck and then I kissed him full on the lips. Gerard fell to the floor. His hands knotted in my hair. This felt so good, but there was an edge to it. Like our kisses had expired.

Gerard suddenly rolled out from under me and sprang up to his feet.

"No, no, no!" He mumbled to himself. "This isn't right. We shouldn't be doing this."

Hurt, I got up from the dirt floor. I brushed a few leaves and twigs off my clothes. I took a step to him, hand outstretched. Gerard stepped back, hands in front of his face.

"Don't touch me," He whispered.

My arms fell limply to my side. My heart twisted. Worry clutched at my throat so I couldn't talk. There was a silence. Gerard stumbled for words to say.

I'm going," He blurted out. His voice was laced with regret.

I stared at him.

Gerard took a deep breath. His face became blank, his voice business like. "I'm leaving, Alice."

"Isn't it too early to go to Cornell?" I asked him quietly.

"I'm not going to Cornell anymore. When I say I'm leaving, I mean that I'm leaving."

"You'll come back to visit, right?" I asked hopefully. My mind was registering what he was saying, but my heart wasn't.

"No…"

It started to rain. It dripped down my hair and splattered all over my face.

"But you promised me that you wouldn't leave," I lunged for his arm. Gerard didn't pull back. My nails dug into his flesh. "You promised."

"I promised that when I loved you."

My heart turned to glass. I stared at Gerard with terrified eyes. "What?"

"Alice," He took a deep breath. "I don't love you anymore."

My heart of glass shattered. The glass shards fell everywhere and cut everywhere, opening healed wounds and creating new ones. "What?" No sound came out.

Gerard looked me in the eye. "I don't love you." He pried my fingers off his arm.

I collapsed. It started to thunder. I felt Gerard squat down next to me. He brushed some hair out of my face.

"Take care of yourself, kiddo," He whispered.

And then he was gone. Just like that. The boy that I loved, the boy that knew every one of my secrets, the boy that I had given my body to, was gone.

I don't know how long I lay there like that, but I started to get uncomfortable. I was wet from head to toe and my stomach hurt. I pushed myself off from the floor. My limbs felt stiff. The thunder crashed above my head.

I reached my car. I slowly slid into the driver's seat. I couldn't bring myself to drive away. I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes while I listened to the silence in my chest.

---x-----X-----x---

There was a rap on my window. I lifted my head groggily. Bella's face was pressed against my window.

"Let me in," She said.

I opened the door and Bella slid into the driver's seat, almost shoving me to the floor.

"Scoot over. I'm going to drive," She said as she pushed me onto the passenger's seat. "Let's put some music on."

Bella fooled around with the radio. She found a station that she liked. "I Don't Love You" By My Chemical Romance came on. She glanced at me and then reached over to change the station. I grabbed her wrist.

"Don't," I croaked.

Bella nodded and continued to drive. I listened to the music.

_Well when you go,  
So never think I'll make you try to stay,  
And maybe when you get back,  
I'll be off to find another way._

_And after all this time that you still owe,  
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know,  
So take your gloves and get out,  
Better get up,  
While you can._

_When you go,  
And would you even turn to say,  
I don't love you, like I did, yesterday?_

_Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading,  
So sick and tired of all the needless beating,  
But baby when they knock you down and out,  
Is where you oughta stay._

_When after all the blood that you still owe,  
Another dollar's just another blow.  
So fix your eyes and get up,  
Better get up,  
While you can._

_Ahh,ahhh_

_When you go,  
Would you even turn to say,  
I don't love you like I did yesterday_

_Well Come on,  
Come on  
_

Bella pulled up to my house. I got out uncertainly, the song still playing in my head. Bella handed me the keys. I went inside the house. I looked around, and everything crashed. My knees hit the cold wood floor, and then my palms, and then my cheek.

"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday."

* * *

Surprsie, Surprise. I updated!

(sob) Poor Alice...I wonder what happens next...leave me reviews please! I would love for this fanfic to have 200 reviews! More would be nice...(shmile)

This will be the last chapter for at least a week...Thank you!

Love,

Melissa♥♥


	20. Running

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Just to let you know, Bella paid Gerard to leave in secret…No one but Bella knows why Gerard left. And also, Bella didn't take the money back from Gerard because she thought that Gerard only didn't want to go because he wouldn't have anyone to use for pleasure. And also, Bella paid him, believing that he and Alice were never in love, only lust.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

I watched with my old eyes as Alice trudged back into her house. Her shoulders were hunched forward, and she had no intention of covering herself from the rain. With her fragile white hands, Alice opened the door and entered her home. Even through the pounding rain I could hear the faint _smack_ of her body hitting the floor.

"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday."

My world tilted.

Good God, what had I done?

I jumped out of the car and ran. Ran to get somewhere, but I was going nowhere. I didn't care if a human saw me. I didn't really give a damn. I had just killed my daughter's heart.

---x------X-----x---

My legs pumped underneath me, eating the ground faster than any sports car could. The trees rushed past me. The wind pushed my hair back, making it pull at my skull. I pushed myself fast and faster, trying to get to the airport before my thoughts would make me turn around. It was taking twice as long because I couldn't run near the highway; the humans would have seen me. I could faintly make out the sound of airplanes lifting off and landing. I needed to get there. I needed to.

---x------X-----x---

I entered through the sliding doors. The cold breeze of air conditioning hit me and the foul stench of unwashed and sweaty humans almost made me turn around and leave. But I couldn't leave. I marched up to an American Airlines desk. The person sitting at it did a double take. He shuffled his papers and pulled at the collar of his uniform. He smiled at me warmly. I almost rolled my eyes.

"Is there a Gerard Reynolds getting on any of your flights?" I demanded.

The man coughed and typed away at the computer. He blinked and adjusted his nerd sized glasses. "Well, ma'am, his flight is taking off right now."

"Damn it! Could you tell me where that plane is going?"

"I'm sorry, Miss. We're not allowed to let that type of information out."

This man wasn't going to give me anything if I played nicely. I leaned over his desk, making sure that my cleavage showed some. "Are you sure about that? I would be so disappointed if you couldn't tell me."  
The man swallowed. I almost smirked. I had him right where I wanted him. He stared for a few seconds. He cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, Miss. I said I'm not allowed. Could I have the next person!?" He called.

I hissed at him but got up and left, pulling the collar of my shirt all the way up.

It was raining even harder now. My wet hair dripped down my back. Many a curious stranger stared at my soaked through shirt. I didn't feel like running back home, so I hailed a cab. The cabbie was the old grandfatherly type. He looked like Charlie.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. I missed Charlie. I missed his quiet manner, the sound of him clomping around in the morning. I never saw him after I turned into a vampire. According to him and my mom, I had filed for a divorce with Jacob, but disappeared before the divorce was final. They never found my body.

I asked the cabby to stop a mile away from my house. I paid him his money, with an extra hundred dollars because I liked the man. I would have brought him home with me if I could. The cabby smiled at me and patted my cold hand.

"Take care," He said. His salt and pepper mustache quivered.

I ran out before I would start crying. This man had Charlie written all over his face.

I walked into my house feeling like a murderer.

"Bella!" Edward cried as he ran to me. He kissed me on the mouth. "Were have you been?"

I made my eyes wide and innocent. "Alice told me Gerard left. I wanted to catch him at the airport before he left."

Edward looked at me for a few seconds. "Yeah, I had a feeling Gerard was leaving. Alice was thinking about him all day. I'm glad you cared enough to look for him. By the way you look; I don't think you found him."

I nodded. "I didn't want him to leave…Alice liked him too much."

_Liar._

I floated around the house, doing miscellaneous chores. I scrubbed the showers, made the beds, and pulled the weeds. My hands hovered near the phone; I was tempted to call Alice. She probably didn't want to talk to me. Like I didn't want to talk to any of my friends when Edward left.

_Oh God. Oh God. Oh God._

My room started to spin.

_What did I do? What did I do?_

I leaned against the wall and slumped, waiting for the blackness to hit me, waiting for the peace from reality. But I was a vampire. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't close my eyes and escape to a world that was mine. I just couldn't.

* * *

**Okay, I just noticed how short that chapter was…It wasn't even a thousand words. But this just sums up what Bella's feeling…I don't know, I feel kinda bad for her…Yeah I know she's horrible, but can't you just feel compassion for her? She screwed her kid's life up and now she doesn't know what to do; she doesn't know what's going to happen next.**

**I mean, Bella's really falling apart. She's **_**lying**_** to Edward. That's something big for her. And Edward believed her. So now she feels even worse. Basically, Bella is feeling like a big screw up. Come on, don't you feel sorry for her?**

**I'm not saying you **_**have**_** to feel sorry for her. I'm just pointing out what it pitiable. You can still think she's a cold hearted evil mom. But really, Bella means good. She just wants the best for Alice, and she thought that Gerard wasn't the best. So she wanted him to leave, but she couldn't let anyone know that she (vampire and mom wise) was in Ithaca. So, yeah…**

**Oh yeah! Also, check out my profile...I have some cool links on it...I just noticed that my author's note is ridiculously long…I should be studying…Peace.**

**Melissa**** (lovess you)  
**


	21. Tests

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**AN: Thanks for reading!**

**Chapter 18**

**APOV**

They're gonna rip up your heads,  
Your aspirations to shreds  
Another cog in the murder machine  
They said all teenagers scare the living shit out of me

**-Teenagers**

**My Chemical Romance**

"Alice?"

A hand gently shook my shoulder.

"Alice? Are you sick?"

My eye opened blearily. I looked up to see Jacob squatting next to me, concern defining his strong features. His black eyes bored into mine for a moment and then fear took over his face. He picked me up from off the floor and I lay listlessly in his arms like a rag doll. His black suit was scratchy against my face. He carried me up the stairs and into my room. He held me with one arm while he pulled the covers on my bed back and tucked me in.

"Alice, did something happen today?" Jacob asked softly.

I looked at my father. Could I tell him? Could I tell him that a boy had broken my heart? That I gave my body to that boy? That I love that boy?

I wanted to tell him that nothing was wrong. But I couldn't. I couldn't lie to him that way. Jacob put a rough hand on my forehead. He frowned.

"You're burning up. You feel like you're on fire," Jacob said. He put a hand on my cheek for a second. "Just stay here…I'll get you some Motrin or something."

Jacob returned 10 minutes later with a bottle of Motrin from CVS. He poured 2 tsp. into a little cup and held it out to me. I stared dumbly at it. I knew that he wanted me to take it, but my body didn't want to listen to my brain. Jacob lifted my head up and poured the medicine down my throat. I coughed involuntarily and Jacob rubbed my back soothingly. I didn't know that he could be this fatherly.

---x-----X-----x---

The bright sunlight of a summer morning cut through my dark room like a knife. My hand touched my cheek. I felt fresh. The feeling I get from burning through a fever. I climbed out of bed, my mind surprisingly numb. I made my bed, relishing the feeling of nothing. There was a polite knock at my door.

"Come in," I said softly.

The door opened a crack, and then all the way. Jacob stepped in. He was dressed in office clothes.

"Feeling better?" He asked.

"Hmmhmm."

"We have to talk about Japan."

"Hmmhmm."

"None of your aunts can come out to stay with you. So, you're on your own for two weeks."

_Alone._

"I'm leaving in a week. I'm going to leave you $200 for groceries and $150 for anything else you want. You cannot touch my Benz. No parties and no beer. I want you home by at least twelve. Oh, and no boys." Jacob continued.

I almost laughed. No boys. I could follow that rule easily. What boy did I have?

"I'm leaving the emergency numbers on the fridge."

Jacob's beeper went off. He looked at it and then moaned.

"I'm sorry Alice. I have to go." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and then ran out.

I stretched out on my bed, savoring the warmness. It caressed my body slowly and left my skin feeling young and new. My feeling of numbness was wearing off. I could feel the despair like a knife against my skin. All too soon my wall would break and the blood of despair would spill on the carpet.

I stared at the walls, trying hard just to focus on their color, their texture. I bolted up.

When was the last time I had gotten my period?

I rushed into the bathroom and pulled down my underwear. Nothing. It was perfectly clean. My head swam as I tried to remember the last time I had my period.

Last time I had it was when Gerard and I had our first time.

_Gerard._

The despair cut through my numbness. It slashed at everything inside of me. It sent pain to everywhere in my body; my fingertips, my feet, my eyes.

I tried to fight it, but I was useless. Nothing could stop it. Slowly, I sank down to my knees, and closed my eyes, and waited for the end to come.

---x-----X-----x---

"Wake up."

Something pinched my skin.

"Wake up! I say, wake up!"

I felt a kick at my leg. I sat up, my eyes wide. The voice was completely unfamiliar. I looked around, expecting a masked man with a knife in his hand.

There was no one there.

I scratched my head. Was I going crazy?

"Halloo?!" The voice called out.

"Who's there?" I called out warily. "If you're here to kill me, just get on with it."

"Oh my! I'm not here to kill you, Alice."

I was getting scared now. "Who are you?"

"I'm your conscience."

Now I was confused. "What?"

My conscience was getting annoyed now. "I'm your conscience, silly girl. I'm supposed to help you make decisions and interfere when your decisions are wrong."

I blinked. "What decisions to I have to make now? The most important part of my life is gone. What more is there?"

"A baby," My conscience answered curtly.

I backed up against the wall, my face stinging. "You don't know I'm pregnant. And I'm not."

"Hmm…I still advise you to buy a test. It's for your own good. And besides, if you were pregnant, which you insist you're not, if you engage in any physical activities, you could kill the baby. And I doubt you want to take away a life before it had even started," My conscience replied smartly.

My eyes started to water. I didn't want to be a murderer. _But you're not pregnant!_ my mind argued. But what if I was? I looked around the room.

"I'm going to buy one."

---x-----X-----x---

Fifteen minutes later, I stood in the bathroom with a pregnancy test in my hand. The man at the back of the counter had clucked his tongue at me and shook his head when I went to buy it.

"Kids these days," He muttered as he scanned the five pregnancy tests I had bought.

I read the instructions carefully, my hands shaking. I read the instructions twice before I started to do what I had to do.

After five minutes had passed, I checked the results. Green. I quickly glanced at the box to make sure what color blue meant. My heart lurched.

I took out another test and took that. Pink. Pink meant the same as green.

I took the rest of the tests. When I was done, I had 5 colors laid out in front of me. Green, pink, purple, yellow, and red.

"I told you so," my conscience muttered.

And then I started to cry, the warm tears spilling onto my stomach; the place where Gerard's baby grew, oblivious to the pain around it.

**(Cries) That chapter was hard to write. Poor Alice. She's all alone. Ha, I bet you're wondering what the song on top was all about. Originally, it was "Love Child" by Destiny's Child, but that would have given the chapter away. I put Teenagers up instead, because teens are always getting pregnant…I hope that makes sense…Well anyways, school's almost over and that means that I can update more quickly! **

**Just to let you know, I bombed the Spanish final, and if I don't make it on the honor roll, I'm gonna get my ass kicked and probably get grounded… (Sob)**

**Ha…Well anyway, just review me and that'll make me a whole lot happier… (Shmile)**

**I love you guys!**

**Melissa**

**P.S. I'm also working on a little one shot for Harry Potter…so just read it and reviews are greatly appreciated…YAY! I LOVE YOU!**


	22. Get Free

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Hey! What's up? Well, nothing much here. Just bored…I also have something really good to tell you…Just read to the end and you'll see it. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**BPOV**

Frowning, I sat down on the bed, Edward sitting away from me. He was annoyed with me, I could tell. Probably it was my temper. I had shouted at him when he came to give me a kiss.

"Bella, come on! You're obsessing over Alice…You're not letting her have fun. And it's not anyone's fault that it's sunny," Edward said loudly.

"What the hell am I supposed to do them?" I demanded.

Edward cringed. "Maybe be with me?"

"Please, like that's going to make me feel better. I could lie around with you, and not care about my daughter at all," I said angrily.

Edward surveyed me for a little while, his lips set in a thin line. "Fine," He got up and walked across the room. "Be that way," And he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

I scowled at the door. Stupid Edward…Couldn't he see that I needed Alice like I needed air?

I cringed.

I also needed Edward like I needed air. Stupid me. What was my problem? Edward was simply trying to ease me up…And I acted like a bitch.

I got up from the bed and padded down the stairs. Jasper and Alice were out in the yard, Carlisle was at work, Esme was reading a novel, Rosalie and Emmett were out hunting, and Edward was lying on the couch, eyes closed, listening to The Bird and The Worm. He was mouthing the words. I sat down on the other side of him. If he noticed me, he didn't say a word.

"Edward, I'm sorry," I blurted out.

Edward opened his eyes and looked at me. "Are you really?"

"Yes, Edward, I'm sorry. You're right, I am obsessing over Alice and-and I'm just sorry."

Edward grinned. "That was exactly what I needed to hear."

---x-----X-----x---

The week progressed, and it became rainier…and quieter. The phone was never ringing anymore, and Alice wasn't at the house laughing her little laugh. She wouldn't even pick her phone up. I finally gave up on her; I stopped calling her, I stopped emailing her…Really, I just stopped even trying to contact Alice. My heart had turned to lead because of it. How much of an evil person was I?

Rain pounded on the windows as I straddled Edward. He was talking about going hunting next weekend. But I wasn't paying attention.

A finger poked my stomach. I looked at Edward quizzically.

"I'm bored," he announced.

I smiled weakly. I bent down to kiss him and the phone rang. I jumped and grabbed the phone.

Someone was sobbing on the other end.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bella! It's me, Alice," Alice sobbed.

I gripped the phone tighter. "What happened?"

"I'm-I'm…," Alice repeated over and over again.

"What are you?" I demanded, fear rising in my throat. Edward was on his feet, listening to the conversation, and a puzzled look on his face.

There was a silence on the other end.

"Alice?" I asked slowly. "What are you?"

Alice took a sharp intake of air. "I'm worried," She said lamely. She sounded dead. "I can't find my reading list, and I'm worried that I lost it."

"Well, would you like to borrow mine?"

"Sure, sure…Look, I got to go…" And Alice hung up.

I whispered into the dead phone. "Liar."

**APOV**

I hung up on Bella, my hands shaking. I lay a hand over my stomach. I had chickened out again. Ever since I had found out that I was pregnant, I wrestled with the idea of telling Bella or someone. This was the closest I had gotten to telling her. I rested my head on the wall and ignored my flustered conscience.

"Tell someone, Alice," It persisted.

"Alice?! Have you seen my socks?!" Jacob yelled from downstairs.

I walked into his room and grabbed the socks that were resting on his bed. I trumped downstairs and handed them to Jacob who was looking harried. He was dressed comfortably in jeans and a t-shirt for his plane trip. He was leaving today. He ran his hands through his hair.

"Thanks, Alice…My ride should be here pretty soon…Help me pack?" He asked.

I helped him pack silently. Occasionally, he would send me worried looks. When we were down, Jacob smiled at me. I stared blankly back.

A car horn outside blared. Jacob cursed under his breath and dragged his suitcase out, me trailing after him. He lugged the suitcase into the car and said a few words to the woman behind the wheel. She was very pretty and had red hair and green eyes. Jacob looked at her in an almost tender way, different from the way he looked at most women.

Jacob turned to me and crushed me to him in a bone breaking hug.

"You'll be good, right?" He said to me.

I nodded. Jacob pulled away from me and glanced over his shoulder at the car at the curb. And then I started to cry. The two men I loved most in my life were leaving.

Jacob looked stricken at my tears. "Don't cry, honey. I'll be back soon."

"Okay," I mumbled stupidly. I wiped at my tears.

Jacob smiled at me again, but then he became stern. "Follow all the rules that I gave you-" The lady in the car blared her horn. Jacob raised his voice to be heard. "No alcohol, drugs, etc. And I love you," Jacob kissed me on the cheek and ran out to the car.

And like a little school girl, I waved at him until he disappeared from sight.

Pain ripped through my body and vomit rose in my throat. I fell to my knees and began to retch.

* * *

**Whoaa…Short I know, but once again…Something very interesting is going to happen next chapter…And also, I practically have the rest of the story written down in my notebook, but it might depend on if I have time to type it on the computer…Sorry! It's summer! And also, I made the honor roll, so I'm not grounded, but I'm on very bad terms w/ my mother because I told her that I hate her…So yeah…**

**Love,**

**Melissa**


	23. A Moment Suspended in Time

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: I have nothing to say…yet…Just read…This one's a good chapter!**

**Chapter 20**

**APOV**

I can't believe how it feels  
To stand here in this room  
And feel like it's going to blow  
I think we're all going to blow 

I've got to be dreaming  
We've got to be dreaming  
Please don't wake me up  
This is the end

**-A Moment Suspended in Time**

**Underoath**

The moonlight shone against my skin as I flitted around my bedroom, looking for my shoes. I found the gold heels resting on my computer desk. I reached for them.

"Don't do it," My conscience pleaded.

My hands hovered over the heels.

"You shouldn't be doing this. Think! Something could happen! Think about the baby!" My conscience begged.

I put the heels on and pulled at the end of my turquoise dress. I put some disc earrings on and ignored my conscience. I was going to try to have fun. I was going to try to get free. I sat down on my bed. My conscience sat next to me like an eager puppy wanting to be pet. I closed my eyes for a few moments, my conscience calming. And then I dashed out of the room and slammed the door shut, leaving my conscience inside my depressing room.

The night air was fresh. I always felt clean at night…And also depressed. Night time was the only time Gerard and I could be alone as one. Everything was dark and quiet. My heels sank in the soft grass as I stalked my way to my car. Jacob's Benz looked sleek and tempting; like a gun. I shook my head. I wasn't crazy enough to bring a Benz to a party like the one I was going to. I climbed into my Toyota and drove off, my mind feeling lighter without my conscience.

I pulled up in front of a large mansion. Music seeped through the walls. I stepped out of my car and made my way to the mansion. Couples were strewn all over the porch, drinking, smoking, and making out. I rang the doorbell. A stoned looking guy opened the door and motioned for me to come in. I stepped inside and the stoned guy looked at me. He suddenly flung his arm around me.

"What's your name," He asked, his breath tickling my neck.

"L-L-Lilly," I lied.

He blew into my ear. "Well, hello there, Lilly. He ran a hand up and down my arm. "You're very pretty, aren't you?"

I pushed away from him and into the crowd. People pushed and shoved and grabbed me. Music blared from the speakers and already, people were running upstairs to the bedrooms. I just drifted with the crowd. After about an hour, I broke away from the crowd and sat down on a chair, wondering if there was anything to drink. I was thirsty.

Someone touched my shoulder. I whirled around. A baby faced brunette handed me a cup. He pushed his chocolate colored hair out of his cerulean eyes. "You look like you need a drink." His voice was sounded sweet and a little nervous.

I smiled at him and took the drink gratefully. I chugged its contents. And then I gagged. I looked down into the cup. Alcohol.

The room started to spin and I fell forward. The guy caught me.

"I'm Mikey," He said.

"Alice," I choked out. My hands rested on my stomach. Mikey leaned me against the wall.

"Will you be okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I gasped.

Mikey looked at me worriedly, but then decided to leave. I closed my eyes and hit my head against the wall. Oh my God. I had beer. I just poisoned my kid.

Already the room was spinning. Colors blurred and my ears tuned the music out. Around me, people seemed to be moving in slow motion. It was like I was looking through a glass that blurred everything. A sour taste in my mouth made me gag. I stumbled around the room drunkenly, looking for a bathroom. I clomped up the polished wood stairs, not caring if my heels would scuff it.

I found a bathroom in the hallway. It was large and expensive looking. It also smelled like someone had used it for the same reason I was going to. I kneeled in front of the toilet and closed my eyes. Two hands gripped my wait. Hard.

I was lifted up and slung over a guy's shoulder. He staggered his way out, one hand on my butt, feeling it up. He stumbled against the wall and opened a door. He shoved me on the bed. I opened my eyes.

"Mikey!?" I screeched.

Mikey grunted and tried to take my dress off. But his drunken fingers fumbled over the zipper.

I was completely sober now. Everything was perfectly clear. I thrashed around wildly and Mikey pinned me to the bed. I tried to push his arms away. My nails scratched his face.

"Ahh! The bitch scratched me!" Mikey screamed.

A fat man came lumbering into the room. He saw me crying and shrieking on the bed and then saw Mikey who was trying to undress me.

"Here, I'll hold her down while you have a chance with her. And then we'll switch," The fat man said.

My heart dropped. He wasn't going to help me. He was just another desperate guy. The second man pinned my down while Mikey undid his pants. He reached his hands up under my dress and pulled my underwear down to my ankles. And then he did what he wanted to do.

My screams were deafening, even to me. Tears were streaming down my face and I arched my back. No no no…This can't happen. I kicked Mikey in the stomach. Mikey fell back and the fat man released me in shock. I rolled off the bed, my underwear still at my ankles. I crawled out of the room screaming bloody murder. A shoe connected with my side. I doubled over in pain, contractions ripping through me.

"You bloody bitch." Mikey whispered in my ear. He picked me up and through me off the stairs.

As I fell, I saw Mikey leering at me, not knowing or caring that he was not only taking my life. He was also taking my child's.

**Holy crap…What's going on?!?! Will Alice really die?! Will her baby really die?! Will someone save them both?!?! **

**Sorry once again for the short chapter. But I hope you had fun reading it.**


	24. Everything

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 21**

**BPOV**

The I.V. and your hospital bed  
This was no accident  
This was a therapeutic chain of events

**-Relax, Relapse**

**Panic! At the Disco**

The moonlight shone against Edward's skin, making it glitter slightly. He laid on the bed, bare-chested, completely absorbed in one of Jasper's philosophy books. His rust hair was pointing in every which way, and he occasionally reached up to brush some strands out of his face. I cleared my throat and Edward didn't even bat an eye. He put the tip of his fingers in his mouth and began to nibble at them like a teen would when reading a fascinating story. Actually, Edward looked very young at the moment.

Vying for his attention, I popped a Shania Twain CD into the CD player and raised the volume up all the way. "Man, I feel like a Woman" came on, and I sang along to it in my weak voice. Edward closed his eyes for a moment, but then opened them and continued to read the damn book. Annoyed, I turned the music off. I padded across the room and perched myself delicately on Edward's butt. He put the book down and I thought that he was going to push me off. Instead, he reached over, grabbed me, and flipped me over so that he was pinning me to the bed. He laughed gently and his sweet smelling breath fanned across my face.

"That was easy," He mused.

"What was?" I asked a little breathlessly.

"Getting you to come to me was incredibly easy."

"What?"

"Never mind…You're here aren't you? We both got what we wanted." And Edward bent down to kiss me. His lips were a centimeter away from mine when the door burst open. Edward rolled off me and glared at the person at the doorway. "Al-" Edward stopped mid sentence. "Oh my God…Bella get up!" Edward shouted.

I sprang up and looked questioningly at Alice and Edward. Alice was panting, her onyx eyes glazed over. "Blood…So much blood…not moving," She muttered. She looked up suddenly and saw me standing stock still, confusion written on my face. "It's Alice…She's hurt." Alice didn't even get to finish her sentence because I was already out the door. Edward followed me. "She's at the Henley Mansion!" Alice shouted after me.

Edward and I ran into his car. He started then engine and peeled out from the driveway. I shook with sobs and Edward glanced at me. "Bella, you'll have to go in there…You're the only one who's been hunting recently."

I looked at him, my eyes went round. Fear gripped my body. "What if…What if I hurt her?" My voice was incredibly small.

"You won't hurt her. I know it." Edward gunned the engine and the speed dial went up to 115 miles per hour.

We pulled up in front of a large mansion a few minutes later. I ran out of the car, my nostrils flaring. I could already smell the blood…

I ran through the door, ignoring the man who stood there, studying my strange appearance. The smell of blood was everywhere now. My head spun and I wanted nothing more than blood to run down my throat. I stumbled blindly toward the blood, my eyes lusty.

At the foot of the tall and huge stairs, there was a small heap. Blood was spilling everywhere from the heap. I ran towards it and almost collapsed. Alice. Her innocent face was crumpled with pain and blood seeped from the back of her head. Her turquoise mini dress was drenched in blood and her underwear was at her ankles.

I steeled myself and picked her up. Her blood dripped all over my arm. I noticed that she had vomit in her hair. Anger flared in my stomach as I looked around and saw druggies, drunks, and whores everywhere.

"GET OUT!" I roared. "I'M GOING TO CALL THE COPS!"

Everyone scattered. I charged my way through the crowd and out to the car. Edward went whiter than he normally is. I rested Alice in the backseat, my head bent over her. Her blood coated my hands and some of my face, but I couldn't drink from her. Edward gunned the engine and reached into his pocket for his cell phone. He dialed quickly.

"Hello, Carlisle? I need you to go to the hospital. I need you treat Alice," Edward said pleadingly.

Carlisle answered and Edward mumbled a "Thank you," before hanging up. We reached the hospital in record time. As I hustled an unresponsive Alice into the lobby, Carlisle immediately took her from my arms and rushed her off somewhere. I broke down crying. The people around me edged away. Blood coated my hands and face and hair. I fell to my knees and dry sobbed, my body heaving like I was retching.

Would I see Alice again?

**Gerard's Auntie's POV**

I walked out of the hospital treatment room, pleased with myself. My blood pressure was perfect. The first person I was going to tell was my nephew, Gerard, but he was off "finding himself". No one knew where he was, but I was the only one he gave his number to. I fingered my cell phone…No…Gerard told me to only call him when it was an emergency. The hospital doors opened then and a young woman soaked in blood came running in with an unconscious girl in her arms.

_Oh God._

That's Alice…Gerard's girlfriend. He told me to watch for her. A young looking blond doctor came hustling into the lobby and took Alice. My heart racing, I plopped myself into a lobby chair, waiting to find out what happened to Alice.

About an hour later, the blond doctor came out of the ICU, a worried look on his face. I grabbed his arm. He looked down at me.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"That girl…Alice is her name…The one who's in the dress. What happened to her?"

"I'm sorry; I'm not allowed to give out that information."

"But…But…I'm her boyfriend's aunt!"

"Gerard Reynolds?"

"Yes him."

The blond doctor leaned down closer to me and told me everything.

**GPOV**

I stared dumbly at the computer screen in front of me. My mouse hovered over the "Purchase Ticket" button. If I clicked it, I would fly back to Ithaca and get Alice. We would run away and get married and live on an island with all our babies. I smiled blissfully at the thought; just me and her lying in the sun while our kids climbed all over us. I was so absorbed in the thought, that I almost didn't hear my new cell phone ring. I answered hastily.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Gerard! Gerard! You have to-to come back!" My aunt sobbed.

"What? Why?"

"It's Alice! She's in the hospital…"

I gripped the phone tightly. "What happened?"

"She-she went to a party and she had some beer and someone raped her…and then threw her down the stairs an-" My aunt stopped.

"That's not all, is it?" I asked shakily.

My aunt's voice was small and sad. "She's pregnant."

I clicked the button.

**Jacob's POV**

Pretty as picture, dancing the night away  
Don't stop babyOooh-aah-ooh  
I learned my way  
I'm living for something now  
It's hardcore honey  
Oooh-aah-ooh  
We're not living in America,  
But we're not sorry  
I knew there was something that we never had,  
But we don't worry  
No we're not living in America,  
But we're not sorry  
We don't care about the world today  
We're not sorry for you

**-Living in America**

**The Sounds**

The bright lights of Japan blinked against the midnight sky. Young men in sharp suits and professional looking glasses loosened their ties and relaxed their rigid posture as they drank shot after shot. Cell phones rand, girls chattered, and people laughed, and car horns blared. Japan was alive tonight.

"YAY! I WON SOMETHING!" My one of my co-workers, Diane (nicknamed Danni) screamed. "Finally!"  
Everyone laughed and Michael handed a shot glass to me. I smiled a little and drank it. Danni hurtled over to me and held out her stuffed bunny.

"I won this!" She said like a five year old.

"You sound like my kid," I laughed.

Danni laughed and grabbed a shot glass. "But would your kid do this?" And she chugged the contents.

"Oho…So you want to do that now?"

"Yeah…you gonna stop me?"

"Yes." I flung Danni over my shoulder and paraded around the room with her. She pounded my back and demanded that I put her down, but she was shaking with laugher.

After about ten minutes, I finally put Danni down. Her auburn hair was wild and her green eyes were bright. She looked at me with those sparkling eyes and I bent down and kissed her. Diane reached up and twined her arms around my neck and kissed me back. Heat rose in my chest and sparked something in my heart. Finally, we broke away.

Diane and I turned around to see stunned co-workers. We glanced at each other. Diane blushed. I looked away…I couldn't look at her anymore.

I pressed my face into the hotel pillow. Matt, my roommate, stepped out of the bathroom, toweling his hair.

"What was up with you and Diane tonight?" He asked.

I rolled over. "Nothing happened." I stared up at the ceiling.

"It sure didn't look like 'nothing'. You guys were pretty intense."

I slapped my forehead. "We were partially drunk and we kissed."

"It's that other one isn't it?"

"Bella is not 'that other one'." My chest hurt when I said her name.

"But it's still her. Jake, the woman left you. It's been 16 years and she hasn't even sent your kid a damn birthday card."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "True…But she was going to stay…I just let her go…I want her to be happy."

"Please, Jake. You made _her_ happy, but she made you _and_ Alice miserable."

I sat up and glared at Matt. "We're not miserable."

"Oh yes you are. Alice looks sad all the time, and you're still hurting…When you were with Diane, something happened between you two."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about. Nothing happened between me and Diane. And I let Bella go because I want her to be happy. And Alice and I are _not_ miserable.

I closed my eyes and remembered the kiss between me and Diane. _Something_ happened. And it had been a long time since I had felt that _something._ I shook my head. I love Bella.

I slowly drifted off and I was almost asleep…My cell phone rang. I picked it up. "Hello?" I asked.  
"Jacob?"

I shut my phone. I could recognize that voice anywhere. Honey sweet and haunting, it was a voice I could never forget. My phone rang again. Matt looked at me curiously. I picked up with shaky hands.

"Jacob? Jacob? Hello? It's Bella."


	25. I don't know

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 22**

**APOV**

Your name is devastation  
You filled us with frustration  
You could have fooled anyone  
We handed up the lucky ones

**-Boys! Grab Your Guns**

**My American Heart**

I didn't know where I was. I would float in and out of conciseness. The times that I was awake were dreamlike; unclear. Sometimes I could remember a woman leaning over me, fiddling with some tubes in my arms. Occasionally I thought I could see Dr. Cullen leaning against the doorjamb, sadness written on his face as he watched me. But he disappeared the moment I saw him. My stomach felt hollow, even thought I was being fed constantly by a tube.

Gradually, I started to be able to stay awake longer and everything was not as fuzzy. Sometimes the women who fixed my tubes would take to me. But it was all senseless babble, so I closed my eyes and feigned sleep. I almost always fell asleep right after. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't think I could talk ever again.

Finally, I became alert most of the time, and I could no longer fall asleep on whim. I came to realize that I was in a hospital. I had suffered a head injury from when I was thrown off the stairs. My head churned as I tried to remember the party. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if Jacob knew where I was.

The door opened and closed. I opened my eyes to see Edward standing at the foot of my bed. He smiled sadly at me.

"Hello Alice," He said quietly, wringing his hands.

"Hello Edward," I replied. I blinked, surprised with myself. I had talked. My heart had flared when Edward walked in.

He walked around to my side and sat down on the bed. He patted my hand with his cold one.

"How are you pulling through?"

My eyes watered and my chin trembled. Edward looked alarmed.

"No, no no, it's okay," He said hastily.

Tears rolled down my face and I told him everything. I told him about Gerard, I told him about the party, I told him about Mikey, and I told him about the baby.

"But I don't know!" I sobbed. "I don't know if my baby's okay!"

Edward's lips were in a thin line, anger suppressed in his eyes. "I'll be right back." And Edward whipped out of the room.

I started to cry more, anger and sorrow gripping my body. I just told another boy everything and he left me as well. However, Edward returned a few moments later with Dr. Cullen. Dr. Cullen looked serious and sad.

"Tell her," Edward demanded.

Dr. Cullen looked at me forlornly. "Alice…I know you don't want to hear this, but it was probably for the best." Dr. Cullen took my hand and his voice turned soothing. "I'm sorry…Alice, honey, you had a miscarriage."

"NO!" I screamed. I put my hands over my ears. "NO! NO! NO!"

A nurse poked her head in. "Is everything alright, Dr. Cullen?"

"Yes, thank you Gwen."

"NO! It's not okay! My baby's dead!" I screamed. I ripped the IVs out of my arms and staggered out of the bed. I tore at my face. "My baby's DEAD!"

Dr. Cullen stepped forward. "Alice," He warned.

I tore at my hospital gown and screamed every obscenity I could think of. Dr. Cullen grabbed my arms. "Alice, calm down."

I swore at him and spit in his face. "My baby's dead!" I bellowed at him. "Why couldn't you save my baby?" Blood trickled down my face from where I scratched it. Edward backed out of the room. Security and nurses hustled into the room and held me down. They forced me on the bed and tied my wrists and legs to it. And I screamed. I screamed for me, I screamed for Gerard, I screamed for my baby. But they couldn't hear me. No one could.

**BPOV**

"BELLA!" Edward roared. He charged into our bedroom. He grabbed the tops of my shoulders. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

I blinked at him, puzzled. "What did I do?"

"You lied! You lied to me about Gerard!"

"I didn't lie," I said through gritted teeth.

Edward let me. He picked up a vase and threw it. It hit the wall and smashed into a thousand little pieces. Much like my heart. "What did you do?" He bellowed.

I backed up. I had never seen Edward this angry. It scared me. I decided the truth was better than lying to him again. "I-I told him to go away…I paid him."

"Bella?! How could you! Alice was pregnant! With his baby! And you told him to leave!"  
I froze. "Alice _was_ pregnant?"

Edward got right up in my face. "Yes! She _was_ pregnant! When she got thrown off the stairs, she lost her baby. And she only found out just now. They had to tie her to the bed. She was hurting herself."

I pushed away from Edward and stalked out of the door. Edward grabbed my arm, his face contorted with anger.

"JUST FORGET IT, EDWARD! JUST FORGET IT!"

Edward's eyes went blank, and then became confused. "Why do you look so angry?" He asked innocently.

I could not believe him. I reached up and slapped him. He rubbed his cheek, suddenly angry. "Why'd you slap me?"

I looked at him. "Alice."

Edward's face became appalled. "We…we were fighting about Alice…It must have slipped my mind." He paused. "But vampires don't forget…"

I touched my cheek. "I made you forget."

"Bella…you have a new power." All the anger in his voice was gone.

"I can make people forget."

**JPOV**

Three days had passed from that phone call I had gotten from Bella. I left Japan, not even bothering to pack anything.

I tapped my foot impatiently. "Hey, do you think you could speed up?" I asked the cabbie.

He glared at me from the front seat but gunned the engine. Ten minutes later, we pulled up at the hospital. I threw cash at the cabbie and ran through the hospital doors. I charged up to the desk.

"Alice Black…I need to see her," I told the nurse there.

She looked me up and down. "I'm sorry, sir. Only family is allowed to see her at the moment."

"Damn it, I'm her father." I gave her my license.

She looked at me doubtfully, but told me her room number without complaint. I charged into her room. Alice was lying on the hospital bed. Her arms and legs were bound to it. She had gauze wrapped around her head. Her face had numerous scratches on it. She was staring at the ceiling.

"Alice," I whispered. A tear slid down my cheek. "What happened to you?"

"She won't answer you."

I whirled around. _Dr._ Carlisle Cullen was standing behind me, arms crossed over his chest.

"What did you do to her?" I demanded.

Cullen held is hands out. "I did nothing to her. She did it all to herself."

"What happened to her?" I asked. My tears were falling thick and fast now.

"I don't know…I just don't know."

* * *

**Whoa...What happened here? Bella has a new power, Memory Loss...Jacob is back from Japan/**


	26. Sweat and Blood

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

* * *

**Chapter 23**

**APOV**

I can't keep going, can't keep going on like this

They make me sick, and I get so sick of it

'Cause they won't let me, they wont let me breath

Why can't they let me be  
why can't they let me be, why don't I know what I am

I force this hate into my heart 'cause it's my only friend

My lips are sewn shut; I watch my self bleed

They push and pull me and its killing me within

**-Sell your Soul**

**Hollywood Undead**

I was a prisoner in my own home. Locked in my bedroom, I couldn't move. I paled to something pure white. I grew underfed, because I refused to swallow anything. There was nothing to live for now. I saw everything and nothing. A particle of dust could keep me busy for an hour. I left my window open. Cold seized me and numbed me. Not even sunshine could warm me. I felt nothing.

Jacob, furious with himself and me, would charge up into my room everyday, demanding answers. His tone was not gentle or fatherly, but brusque and harsh. Each day, he would stink more and more of beer. Sometimes I would wander the house like a ghost, touching the walls or certain photographs remembering something about Gerard. It didn't hurt to think about him anymore. Nothing hurt now.

Cold swept through my window and caressed my bare body slowly. I shivered as goose bumps rose on my flesh. Rain fell like fat bullets through my window and into my bedroom. Slowly, I rose. My long hair swung around my body, covering me. I floated to the window and stuck my head out. Rain hit my face like shards of glass. Thunder cracked and lightening flashed. I curiously cocked my head and walked away from the window. I had something to do.

I crossed my room and rifled through my drawers. I found a white long sleeved shirt and white pants. I dressed slowly. I dug deeper through my drawers and found what I was looking for. It glinted. The knife…It would help me.

I pressed the cold blade to my wrist. I shivered. I only needed to press down harder and I would be no more. The wind whipped my hair around. I tightened my grip on the knife handle. I closed my eyes and started to press.

"_No!_ Alice!" A horribly familiar voice cut through the solemn silence.

I stopped pressing but kept my eyes closed. Warm hands cupped my frozen face. His breaths were fast against my face. I released the knife and let it fall in my lap. I touched his cheek.

"Gerard."

He pulled me to his chest. I warmed as his hands clutched me to him. I unfroze and emotions began to build up in my chest. I started to sob. I clutched at him and sobbed the story out into his chest. He heard only a few key words but didn't ask for a proper explanation. His tears trickled down my neck. I looked up and he brought his face down to mine. Our lips collided and something happened. Everything shifted into their correct position. I knew who I was. I was Alice and I belonged to Gerard.

The door slammed open.

"You _whore._" Jacob snarled.

In one stride he was at my bed. He grabbed me by the hair. I screamed and kicked. In another stride, Jacob was running down the stairs, cursing at me.

"You-you have the nerve-" But Jacob never got to finish because he was knocked forward by Gerard. Jacob released me and swung around, a fist connecting with Gerard's face.

Gerard hit back, but it was like hitting metal; you only hurt yourself.

"NO! Jacob, stop!" I cried. I began to beat Jacob on the back, but I tired easily. Gerard finally rolled out from under him. His face was bloody, sweat mingling with blood.

"GET OUT!" Jacob roared. He grabbed Gerard by the neck and threw him out the door. Gerard sprawled out on the sidewalk, blood falling everywhere.

"No!" I cried. I threw myself to Gerard, but Jacob caught me and hurled me back into the living room.

Gerard blew me a kiss and then scrambled away from my father who looked like he was going to fight him. Jacob turned to me.

"You."

**  
BPOV**

When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight  
It ends tonight

**-It Ends Tonight**

**All American Rejects**

Edward was not talking to me. He was off hunting with Emmett, Carlisle, and Jasper. He wouldn't be back for another 3 days. I scowled at the wall and wiggled my feet.

"Hold still, Bella! I won't be able to paint your nails right!" Alice protested. I looked down at my feet and saw that the right foot was covered in purple nail polish.

Rosalie laughed. "You're a vampire and you still can't stand still."

I glared at her. "You can't seem to stay still when Emmett comes back from a certain store."

"Shut up."

I stood up. "No, you shut up."

"O, Almighty Mom Bitch…I should listen to you or else you'll walk out on me."

I stalked out of the room. She followed me, reenacting the scene in which I chose Edward over Jacob.

"STOP IT!" I cried. "WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?"

Rosalie shrugged. "It's easy. You had a baby and I didn't."

The doorbell rang. Rosalie sniffed the air. "Blood…It's Gerard."

I ran to the door, my eyes wild. Gerard was kneeling, blood dripping down his face. I pulled him up and he fell on his hands and knees.

"I'm-I'm sorry," He spat out blood. "Alice…and Jacob…crying…afraid for her."

And then Gerard blacked out. I hauled him up, not breathing. As I held a bloody and hurt Gerard, I knew that it needed to end. Everything needed to end.

* * *

**Egad! What's Bella planning? Gerard came back to rescue Alice…and then got bloodied up! Uh Oh…Now what?!?!? Sorry it took so long to update…I've been sleeping most of the time… (smile)**

**Hey! Tell me about your summer! I wanna know if it's as boring as mine. (Laugh)…Anyways, thanks for reading once again and review please!**

**Love,**

**Melissa (Mo Mo)**


	27. Forget Me

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**AN: Before I forget to tell you, I want all of you to go to my profile and check out the links I have up there. And also, I apologize for changing my penname so randomly. I thought it sounded pretty… (Shmile)**

**Chapter 24**

**APOV**

They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste  
What good is mine if I'm locked up in a cage?  
I was hoping you could help me out of here  
So I could finally disappear

**-The Shake (Awful Feeling)**

**My American Heart**

The bright lights of my room hurt my eyes. Everything seemed to hurt after Gerard was forced to leave. Jacob yelled at me for an hour straight and then sent me to my room. He nailed the window shut and wouldn't let me leave the house. He camped outside my room so that I couldn't escape. He looked like a mad man more and more every day. He refused to shave and his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

The doorbell rang. I shivered and pulled my quilt tighter around me. Jacob stomped grumpily down the stairs, muttering all the way. I strained my ears, hoping to hear something.

"Get out of my house," Jacob said loudly.

The door slammed against what seemed to be a rock.

"Get out," Jacob repeated. He sounded like he was restraining from doing something he really wanted to do.

"No, let me in," A woman demanded.

Where have I head that voice?

"No," Jacob growled.

"I don't care what you say. She's my daughter, too."

I ran as quietly as I could to the stairs. I peered through the banisters, my heart pounding. The woman's back was to me and the only thing I could see was her lush hair. I could see Jacob perfectly, though. His face was contorted with rage, his hands balled up into fists at his sides. He was trembling.

"Look at you," The woman-my mother- continued. "You can't keep her locked up like this."

"No! None of this would have happened if you hadn't come here. Look what happened! It's- all- your- fault!" Jacob said this with much difficulty.

I was expecting the woman to yell, but she only hung her head.

"You're right…It is my fault."

Jacob's trembling stopped a little bit. "Why did you want to see her now?! You didn't seem very interested in her 16 damn years ago, Bella!" Jacob cried. "You're a vampire! You're the only one keeping you from her!"

"Jacob, as I recall, you seemed pretty keen to stay with me even though you were a werewolf," My mother said maliciously.

Black dots swam in front of my eyes. I couldn't see anything; my head hurt. My eyes started to close and I let out a little cry before I fainted. My mother turned around and I saw with horror the pale face of my best friend.

**BPOV**

Alice.

Her soft figure swayed and fell forward down the stairs. Jacob caught her and held her in his arms. He stared at her face, which was frozen in shock and horror. She had seen my face. She knew everything.

As much as I loved her, and as much as I wanted her with me, I wouldn't and couldn't curse her with the knowledge of vampires and werewolves. I now knew what Edward went through with me.

"She heard everything," Jacob snapped at me. "Just get out."

He bounded up the stairs and into Alice's bedroom. I followed and he set her down on the bed.

I touched his arm softly. Repulsion swept through my body, but love was there. Jacob flinched but didn't move. He raised his eyes for a moment and I looked back at them. Something changed immediately.

The air became less tense and realization dawned in Jacob's eyes.

"I don't love you," He muttered. And then he started to laugh. "I don't love you!"

I blinked. My insides hurt. Jacob looked at me.

"No…I meant…" He started to talk like a very excited boy. "I was always afraid to look at another woman…I kept on seeing you. But now…I know…Of course, I'll always love you, in a way."

I nodded and Jacob hugged Alice. I still kept my hand on Jacob's arm while I debated what I should to. I needed to leave Jacob and Alice alone.

"She can forget that I was ever here," I said quietly. "It's my power," I added.

I removed my hand from Jacob's arm and put it over Alice's forehead and took a deep breath. Jacob grabbed my hand.

"She was different with you…Happier…Please; don't erase your friendship…Just your face."

I nodded. All this was for nothing. She wouldn't remember me. She would only remember the ghost of our bond. But I did as I promised.

When Alice woke up, she wouldn't remember any of me.

My daughter. My only daughter was gone from me.

**-Sorry it's so short!-**

**But I want to hear your feedback! And please, please, please with bacon on top tell me what you feel when you read this story.  
**

**Xoxo,**

**Melissa (Stunning Snapdragon)**

**P.S. I love you! (smiles) **


	28. Babies and moms and dads! OH MY!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter 25**

**APOV**

So fathers, be good to your daughters  
Daughters will love like you do  
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers  
So mothers, be good to your daughters, too

**-Daughters**

**John Mayer**

**!6 Years Later!**

I bolted from the kitchen and into the bathroom. I kneeled over the toilet and threw up violently. Gerard poked his head out of shower.

"Care to join-oh…" Gerard trailed off when he saw me retching. "You're going to work today?"

I nodded and got up from the toilet and began to rinse my mouth.

"You've been throwing up like this for a while now. Are you sure you're okay?"

I almost laughed out loud. How could Gerard not realize why I was throwing up?

He got out of the shower and went to put his uniform. I followed him.

"So…How many people are coming to your birthday party?" He asked as he pulled his NYPD uniform on.

"College friends, Jacob, Diane, and the twins…" I said counting on my fingers. "So, about 50 people."

"Yup…But why throw a party _now_?"

I shrugged. "I don't know…But I'm turning 23…isn't that a big number?

Gerard chuckled and gave me a kiss. "I'm off to work." He checked his watch. "You better start to get ready, too."

-!-!-!-

"Mrs. Reynolds!" Colin, one of my kindergarten students, cried as he hugged me around the middle.

I patted his head fondly. "Hello there, Colin. Are you excited that it's Friday?"

He released me and smiled crookedly at me, his blond hair messy. "Yeah! Me and my daddy is going to the beach! Mommy can't come because her tummy is too big."

"That sounds like fun! On Monday, you have to tell me all about it. Now you have to go to your seat. It's time for class!" I clapped my hands and my students scurried to their desk. I walked to the blackboard and wrote the letter C. "Can anyone tell me what letter this is?"

Several hands went up and I smiled. Being a teacher was fun.

-!-!-!-

Gerard stepped into the house and called out with the cliché "Honey, I'm home!" He walked into the kitchen and peered into the pot I was stirring. "Yum, spaghetti. My favorite."

He set the table while I cooked, occasionally getting giggles from me when he kissed my neck. Unlike most couples, dinner was more of a food fight for Gerard and me.

By the end of dinner, I had a meatball down my shirt and Gerard had garlic bread in his hair. Gerard reached over and stuck a hand down my shirt and fished around for the meatball, causing me to snort with laughter. He finally got it out but my shirt was covered in sauce. Gerard picked the garlic bread out of his hair while I went to change.

When I came back, the table was clean. I could hear the soft creaking of the porch swing so I knew he was on it. I started toward the swing, but the phone rang. I ran to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Diane?" I asked.

"Hi Alice!" Diane, my step mom, said.

"Is Dad home?"

"No, honey. I just wanted to tell you that the twins and I can't go."

"Why?"

"Well, Elizabeth and Anna are running a fever and throwing up." Diane said, naming my two step sisters. They were 4 years old and trouble makers.

"Aww…I was going to announce something."

Diane gasped. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I really want to go."

"No, that's okay…But I'm just going to tell you now. But you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"I promise!"

"Okay…well, I'm pregnant."

Diane squealed and gasped at the same time. "Does Gerard know?!"

"No, I'm going to tell him now."

"Good luck, Alice! Bring a camera! I wish I had one when I told Jacob I was pregnant. I couldn't stop laughing for days!"

"Bye Diane! Tell the twins I said get better." I laughed and hung up.

I walked out to the swing and saw Gerard sprawled on it, looking at the stars. I joined him and snuggled into his side.

"Who was that?" He asked.

"My second husband…It was Diane. She said she and the twins couldn't come."

"That's too bad…I was looking forward to seeing them."

"You like little kids, right?" I asked, my insides churning.

"They're okay." Gerard looked at me suspiciously. "Why?"

"Well…Well…I'm…well…I'm pregnant!" I blurted out.

Gerard froze and looked me in the eye. "You're kidding."

I shook my head joyfully. He ran his hands through his hair in distress.

"I thought you were on birth control!"

"I was," I said slowly. My joy was turning into despair.

"When did you stop? Wait, no. I don't want to know. Alice! Why did you stop? Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged. And then I started to cry.

"No…don't cry," Gerard said hastily. "What I meant was…I meant…aren't we a little young?" He stopped and wiped the tears running down my face. "No…I just don't want a repeat of what happened 6 years ago."

"It-it won't happen…We were teenagers then, Gerard. Do you honestly think that I'm going to drink?" I choked.

Gerard pulled me to him and I let him. He kissed the top of my head and I knew that he was okay with it.

"I love you, Alice."

-!-!-!

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" Gerard's college friends shouted as Gerard chugged a two liter bottle of Pepsi.

The phone rang and I went to answer it.

"Alice?" Jacob's frazzled voice said.

"Yeah? When are you coming?"

"Sorry…my flight got delayed and I just landed but I lost my luggage…I might be a lot late."

"Okay…just hurry. Bye!" And we hung up.

I stalled for two hours and then I realized that Jacob probably wouldn't be home for another hour. I called everyone over to the cake. Gerard stood next to me, his arm around my waist.

"Well, as you all know, this is a birthday party for my 23rd birthday…But-" I was cut short by the opening of the front door. I excused myself and went to the door.

Jacob trudged through the doorway smiling broadly. A teenager was following him, head down. She was pale and had long brown hair, close to my color. She looked up and we locked gazes.

"Mom."

* * *

-CHEERS!-

Alice and Bella meet again!

YAYAYAYAY!

And Jacob finally moved on...yay!

And Alice and Gerard are married and are gunna have a baby!

And it's a happy ending!

But stay tuned, I have the epilogue and a surprise chapter coming up for you

Xoxo,

Melissa (loves you)


	29. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Epilogue**

_Dear Mommy,_

_I'm writing this letter to you because I have so many things to tell you. I love you. I don't think I ever got to tell you that. Not with those three words, anyway. Dad loves you, too. Don't think that he doesn't. He loves you. No matter how many times he tried to forget you, you would always be there. He tried to forget you, believe me he did. But Mom, you ripped a hole in his heart when you left. Yes, he has Diane, but she couldn't quite fix him either. You are the wound and Diane is the bandage but the wound keeps bleeding._

_Chase, Scott, Adam, and Aria love you, too. You were always something more than a baby sitter and a friend to them. Gerard. He loved you, too…Well, to a certain extent. I think he loved that whenever we needed you. Ha, now I'm realizing what a shallow and selfish love that is. But Gerard did like you a lot. And thank you, for letting us be together._

_Oh God, there are so many things I never got to tell you. I don't think I told you about when I read the Harry Potter books. I stated reading them when Jacob gave me the complete set when I was nine. I finished them all. When I turned eleven, I think I died a little when I didn't get my Hogwarts letter. I mean, didn't we all?_

_You know, I think Gerard was annoyed that I got pregnant so easily. But I can't blame him…I was annoyed, too. I mean, it's nice just to sleep with your husband without worrying about getting pregnant. But don't get me wrong, he loves the kids. He loves them more than anything… (Well, except for me, haha)._

_Chase…He's like the Harry Potter of our family. He so damn passionate about soccer, he's loyal to his friends, and he has black hair and green eyes! I don't think you know how thrilled Gerard was when he found out that Chase had Gerard's father's eyes. But he's also a book worm…He's one of a kind. _

_Scott…He's the second oldest and the quietest. He's very smart, as you know. I was so proud when he made it into Yale. He's CEO of some big business. But I don't know…He'll always be my baby._

_Adam…he's a trouble maker. Give him fireworks and he'll blow up the whole damn house. He wasn't into sports that much. He was my emo boy…But he didn't cut himself. Emo sounds so strange coming from me now. I can't believe that I was one of those kids who would make them selves bleed._

_Aria…She's my flower, my only girl. She's sweet and shy and a tomboy. She still is…She still despises the color pink. She's actually a skater girl. Not Avril Lavigne skater girl. Even I know that she was a disgrace to all punk and skater women out there. Grr…She used to tick me off. Haha._

_My God, I remember the time Gerard came home late…like really late. And he was drunk. The kids were pretty young by that time and Aria was still a few months old. Gerard came stumbling into the house, yelling for me. I remember putting Aria down and running to Gerard so I could shut him up. He was staggering around and screaming for me at the tops of his lungs. I grabbed his arm and told him to be quiet._

_"WHY SHOULD I BE QUIET?" He yelled._

_"The kids…they're asleep," I whispered._

_"WHO CARES? WAKE THEM UP!" He yelled again. And then he smashed a vase on the floor. He grabbed some china and threw it against the floor._

_The boys were awake, I could tell. But they didn't come out of the room and I'm glad that they didn't. Gerard finally collapsed on our bed and slept. I went to sleep in Aria's room. After a few minutes, Scott, Adam, and Chase came running in. They said that they didn't want to sleep alone. So of course, I set up sleeping bags for everyone. The next morning Gerard apologized to me and the kids. It never happened again._

_When Chase was 17, he had a girlfriend he was really serious about. So Gerard and I gave him THE TALK. We told him about how I got pregnant when I was 17 and Gerard didn't know because he left. And then we told him about how I was stupid enough to go to a party and drink. And then I told him about the guy who threw me off the balcony. I told him everything…except for the vampires…I kept that to myself._

_You know how you used to tell me that Rosalie hated you? I don't think she hates you. I just think she's jealous. When I took one look at her, I knew what she wanted. She wanted to be one of those mothers who stay home with the kids and still be pretty. But mostly she just wanted kids. You saw how she acted when she first saw Chase. She tried to act all aloof, but I saw in her eyes that she wanted just to hold him. Don't be mad at her Bella, she doesn't hate you. She's just sad…You had everything she wanted._

_Well, this letter is getting a bit long. When you get this, I'll be with Gerard. Hopefully in heaven…Don't cry or don't feel bad. You are the best mom._

_Love always,_

_Alice_

* * *

**I have a surprise for you next chapter! Thanks so much for reading Memory...I love you guys so much!**

**xoxo,**

**Melissa**_  
_


	30. Love, Melissa

**Thank you to all my reviewers! Because of you, Memory was completed. I can't thank you enough. (Hugs and Kisses for everyone)**

**My beloved reviewers: **

_**Louisvillekiss**_

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_**Kyu508**_

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_**your vennela**_

_**iman anna**_

* * *

Now, I hope that everyone is wondering how Gerard died...Well, he was driving when a truck slammed into his car. He was killed instantly. He was about 67 when he died. Now, when Alice had to identify his body, she suffered a massive heart attack. The doctors said that her arteries and such were clogged, but everyone knew that she got it from a broken heart. For the next two years, Alice's health declinded. A few months before she died, she wrote letters to everyone in her life. When she died, the letters were given to the people she addressed them to.

* * *

You guys are the bestest. Broken Love and Memory would be nothing without you guys. For now, I'm going into "retirement"...lol...I'll be back during the school year, so make sure you're here to review my new stories! I truly hope that my other stories will be as succesful as Memory...But Memory will always be the best. I love you guys so much. You don't even know...(shmiles)

Bye Bye for now,

Melissa (loves her reviewers!)_**  
**_


	31. Oopsie!

Heyy! Well, I'm going to eat my words...I'm not going into retirement...I'm writing something on fictionpress! my name is** Stunning Snapdragon**, so I'll be easy enough to find...Well, the story is called Bury me in Black...please read it!

xoxo,

Melissa (loves you)


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